Happy Monday

It's snowing like crazy again and I'm sick, which makes me want to cry all day because pregnant + sick + no medications = sad mama.

But then this little sucker comes over to me with this little smile and my world is good again.

I mean, c'mon.

Snow Days

I know I've said this before, but driving in the snow is the scariest thing in the world to me.

Lucky for me it snows here nine months a year.

Even luckier, my car is not a Jetson car.

I hope you're picking up on my sarcasm here, because I'm laying it on pretty thick.

Anyway, it snowed buckets yesterday.  And I drove a lot.  And everything was totally cool.  Until two cars hit a school bus right in front of me.  Everyone was ok, the hit in such slow motion it was more like a nudge, but it still scared the crap out of me.

I guess I can't complain, LA drivers are way worse in totally perfect conditions than Bozeman drivers in apocalypse-type conditions on a daily basis. Conclusion: Everyone in California is stoned at all times.

(according to my faux-father-in-law anyway)

Bonus conclusion: I've lived in Bozeman long enough now to know there are probably more stoned people here per capita than there are in LA.

Double bonus conclusion: Most people here are super friendly.

Triple bonus conclusion: I love Reese's peanut butter christmas trees.  That has nothing to do with it, except that I'm pregnant and hungry.

17 weeks!  

Why's it so pointy?  It's like I'm gonna give birth to a spaceship.

The really good thing about all the snow yesterday is that this morning was GORGEOUS.  I mean, just ding-dong beautiful.  

Unfortunately, it was too cold for me to get really good shots this morning, but here's a small example of what it was like at the park a block from our house.

Adeline's in that stroller fogging it up and chatting to herself about snow and balls.  Not snowballs.  Two separate thing.  She's very specific.

Morning Sickness

I didn't write about my first trimester last time because I started the blog well into my second trimester and didn't like to recall such things.

This time around was no different, however, I feel like I need to address it a little to let others know they're not alone.  Also, as my sister puts it, to warn others.  "Warn" is a harsh word, Becky is very dramatic.  Although Josh did say the first trimester this time was "horrible" and that he was "miserable" and "never wanted to do this again".  And then we broke up because I was throwing too many pots and pans at his head due to the fact that I was actually the one going through all the sickness not him.

Kidding.  We did not break up.  But, to be fair we could have.  What with all the pots and pans throwing and all.

Not everyone gets morning/all day sickness, and those people are very lucky.  I was not so lucky.  Right about five and a half weeks it hit, and it hit me with a sledgehammer.  Nausea and exhaustion so bad I could barely eat anything, which is the horrible part of it because you need to eat so you're not so sick but you can't eat because you're so sick and suddenly you're puking in your car on the way home from swim class in the McDonald's drive-thru.

Luckily a prescription for Zofran took the edge off for a little while, but even then after a few weeks it didn't really work and I was back to puking in my car in various drive-thru's.

And then, just when I thought I wasn't going to make it, and Josh thought he wasn't going to make it (because honestly, dealing with a puking lunatic for two months isn't so fun), the clouds parted and the placenta took over the hormone making, and TA-DA!  NORMAL HUMAN AGAIN!

And now I'm starting to forget those months (joys of pregnancy brain) and suddenly I start thinking, "Hey that wasn't so bad!  We should definitely have a third!  And a fourth!  AND SEVEN HUNDRED MORE BABIES!"

Which is why I'm writing this.  To remind myself it wasn't all daisies and popcorn, it was pretty sucky in the beginning.   But that doesn't mean it isn't all worth it.  Because it is.

Oh my gosh it so is.

Worth it.

Worth it.

Even worth it in a hammock.

Reading Time!

In this video Adeline teaches us all how to properly read a book!

Complete with commentary!




(If for some reason it doesn't load, just click on the youtube button at the bottom of the video and you can see it there!)

Breaking Back

I just sent out a questionable email to all the mom's involved in my mom's group that involved the words "light porn".  Most of them don't know me, so I'm sure that'll go over well.

In other news, I've made great strides in maturing now that I'm going to be a mother of two!

*clonka;lskdjrfopiasdjfoi*

Sorry.  That was my head hitting the desk as I fainted to the floor.  Mother of two?!  Shut the fuck door.

You might as well tell me I'm in my mid-thirties now.

*splatlake';kdsahjoie*

Mid-thirties.  Try just barely grazing three decades.  Like, yeah, I'm here, but I just have my toes dipped in, ok.  I'm like wading in the shallow end or the tri's.  Good thing I have the body of a just barely thirty year old, and the mind of a twelve year old.  Boy. Or I'd be real sad right about now.

Don't be sad, I'm too cute.

Well, by body of a thirty year old I mean ninety.  I threw my back out this weekend and could not stand up straight.  Like could not even if you paid me too.  I always thought people with back problems were big babies, turns out - I owe a lot of people a lot of apologies. And possibly some small children.  My friend who wore a neck brace though on the first day of eighth grade? She does not get an apology.  She was clearly just trying to get attention, I don't care how hard that car hit her.

The good news is I can take muscle relaxers!  The bad news, I can't take them because I'm too scared to.  In High School I secretly wished I was cool enough to have a drug problem, but I was too afraid I'd be the girl who tried uppers and then died in gym class from skipping rope too hard.  There's no use trying to start a drug habit if you're just gonna die a week later.  That so wouldn't be worth it.

I couldn't even take the Vicodin they gave me after I had my wisdom teeth pulled because I was afraid I'd become addicted and start snorting it and then I'd never be able to score over a 900 on my SATs I had to take the next week, even though the idea of being a drug-addled teen was exciting in a I-could-go-on-Oprah-and-tell-my-story-to-the-world-about-how-I-recovered-with-the-help-of-Jesus-and-smokes-because-people-in-rehab-are-always-smoking-and-what-is-that-about-I-mean-it's-rehab-people!-smoking-kills-more-people-a-year-than-anything-else-or-maybe-that's-heart-disease-but-I'll-bet-Oprah-could-clear-it-up-during-our-interview sort of a way, I just couldn't do it.  That, and Vicodin makes me puke.  Good thing I didn't really know about wine back then or I probably would have been pregnant waaaaaay earlier than my 30s.

But then I wouldn't have this little chubby chub!

(Addie's reorganizing and I'm apparently taking a kneeling nap)

On an unrelated note it's Christmas-y here!  Yay!  

Anyway, my Mom is gonna be really proud about this post.  And I don't say that facetiously.  I say it because she knew I had a wanderlust for wishing I was a little darker than I actually ever had the guts or (lackof)brains to be, and she steered me clear of all that daydreaming and right into the proud woman I am today. Thanks Mom.  I could have been on Oprah.

Some kids dream of being an astronaut and some kids dream of being in rehab.  Don't judge.  I turned out just fine and I'm pretty sure some of the astronaut kids are in jail right now.  I've never even had a cavity.

Big News!

So it's been a month apparently since the Halloween preview.  I'm not really sure how that happened since I still have Halloween candy left.  Apparently in Bozeman kids don't trick or treat door to door, the go to the mall, or downtown shops.  It sort of means they're all going to grow up without a real childhood but hey, that's their choice.  GROW UP BEFORE YOUR TIME KIDS DOING WEIRD THINGS ON TRADITIONAL HOLIDAYS.  I bet Santa just walks in the front door here too.  No need to slide down the chimney, no one in Bozeman locks their doors.  Except me.  'Cause I was raised in LA yo.  Rapists are everywhere.  And they're coming on Christmas.

Downtown Halloween was super cute though.  Just hoards of kids dressed up, and then there was this girl.  She was the cutest.

Unfortunately she didn't keep the hood on very much so she ended up just looking like a bar maid from Medieval times.  The era, not the restaurant.

So, the real reason I haven't written in a while is because Adeline took up with the rodeo. 

Fine.  She didn't.  But girlfriend did try to ride the dog once.  It didn't go well.

Ok, the real reason - I'll give it to you in a list of little joys and see if you can figure it out:

Eczema, hemorrhoids, weird acne in weird places, endless puking, unable to cool off even in 20 degree weather, sore skin, gas, breasts of a greek goddess, butt the size of a picnic table (according to my loving partner), endless hunger, inability to watch The Voice without sobbing uncontrollably, inability to watch Ellen without sobbing uncontrollably, inability to watch anything without sobbing uncontrollably,  belly button about to leap off my body and start a life of it's own.

Give up?

Here.  I'll give you another hint.

Yay!  I'm pregnant!  Again!

In that picture I am about two days pregnant.  Apparently you show waaaaaaaay earlier the second time.

So, we're totally excited.  Luckily we captured the joy on Adeline's face when we told her she was going to be a big sister.

Honestly, you're gonna wanna scroll to the bottom if you don't want a lot of cheese right now, but we are so in love with this little lady, she is so funny, and cute, and adorable, and has a little fireball of a personality that I'm sure I will rue when she's a teenager, but she's not right now.  Right now she's a little one year old fireball, and that. is. awesome.  I know kids aren't for everyone, but I feel so lucky, and so amazingly blessed that kids are for us.  For me and for Josh.  Because most of the time we sit around at night having dance parties and laughing and reading stories and mopping the floor (girlfriend loves to mop the floor, don't ask me why, i hate it), and there's nothing we'd rather be doing.  

Unless it rhymes with Ryan Gosling.  Then we'd think about it.

Anyway, my point is - we love her and being a family.  And she loves other kids.  Loves them.  And I am so happy, and grateful that she gets to have a sibling, because my brother and sister are the best things ever. I mean, if nothing else, they're the only people in the world you can call and say, "Oh my god, do you know what your mother/father did?"  And trust me, my kids are gonna need somebody to talk to about us.

Oh Mama don't be sil. . . . No, that's totally true.  

Wait, big sister?  That mean I have to share?  Hold up.

Anyway, to celebrate news of the new baby we got hit with a snowstorm!

She loved it until she ate it face first in the snow, and then she hated it.  Oh my god she looked just like the kid in A Christmas Story though.  Love. Love. Love.

Also, she's taking up reading.  And she's very serious about it.

Where's my new Tom Clancy book ya'll?

And the paper.  She loves the paper.  

Best.  Picture.  Ever.

Halloween Preview

This past weekend Adeline's dad and I went to a Halloween party thing, and got dressed up.  My smartest parenting move thus far was letting her watch us get ready so we didn't scare the ever-loving snot out of her once she saw us all wigged and make-uped and whatnot.

It still did not help a lot in regards to how she felt about her father's wolf costume.

Oh my gosh I wish that picture hadn't gotten cut off, but even still the look on her face - hahahahaha!  So.  Not.  Ok.  With.  Dad.

She gave a very similar look to my friend Beth while we were in Catalina over the summer.  

Hahahaha.  Oh my gosh the joy that picture brings me will never end.  IT WILL NEVER END.

To be all Halloween-y we went to a pumpkin patch where Adeline was not happy with the pumpkin selections.

Shortly after this she pooped so bad the ONE TIME I didn't have any wipes left and I was seconds away from using stray pumpkins to wipe her with before a friend came to my rescue.  Unfortunately, I was still changing her diaper in a pumpkin patch and she ended up with so much hay stuck to her little butt it looked like I was preforming some sort of medieval ritual on her backside.  There was so much hay I found some in my underwear later that night.

The farm boasted a lot about a hay maze, and I was all excited picturing the labyrinth from the movie, The Labyrinth   What?  You haven't seen it?!  This conversation is over until you get a copy of it and watch the magic that is David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly.

                              


Unfortunately, this was not a maze with talking muppets.  It looked like this.

A few hay bales for which to trap my daughter with.  She was not happy about it.

When we got home I changed her clothes and sat her on the sink, because I prefer a life of danger.  Also, if I'm brushing my teeth or doing anything that involves the counter girlfriend loses her sh*t until I pick her up and let her dance with trouble five feet off the ground.  So, for the two seconds I couldn't see while I was taking out my contacts my little lady got herself in this here position:

Sink bath!  She got in there and turned the water on herself and has never been happier in her life!  She played in there for like a half an hour. I'm sure it wasted a lot of water, but it was so dang cute I could not bring myself to lecture her on water shortages or mommy and daddy's budget.

Then she had a cuddle sesh with the Dog.  Her new bff.  Well, she's not his bff, but he's hers.  You know how these things work.  She'll wear him down though.  Girlfriend is determined to make him love her.

Fourteen Months Old And Counting

Ugh, I'm sorry about my lack of posting.  My computer exploded and then all of the internet went out in Montana, and then a raven flew into the house and nested in the corner of my bedroom and every night I tried to write a blog it would scream, "Nevermore" so I couldn't write anything.

Ok, none of that happened, but how creepy would the raven thing be?

Truth is I've been sick and Adeline has been busy being a teenager.  Girlfriend is SO BIG all of a sudden!



                                                       

Hi Mom, can I borrow the car?

I mean, look at that sweater.  Eat-her-face-off cute.

Every day she does something new and I think, "I have to write that down so I'll remember it!" and then I fall asleep watching Friends and remember nothing.  But for a quick list, here are the new things she's doing:

1. Talking!  Well, sort of.  She says Bob (the dog's name), and ball (the dog's toy), and bottle (her favorite thing although it has nothing to do with the dog), and pumpkin.  To the lay person they probably all sound like "Ba!"  But I know the difference!  She has no interest in saying mom or dad.  None at all.  Why would she when all she has to do is grunt at us and we pick her up?  Names are for special things.

Oh, and her Montana Grandma taught her to say, "No, no, no" while shaking her finger at something.  It's super cute until she starts doing it at us.

2. She eats apples whole.  Like a real human.

Don't you dare cut up my apple Mama, or I'll cut you up.

3.  She thinks its hysterical to lift up our shirts and poke our bellies.  Especially in public.  The people of Target are probably sick of me exposing myself in the grocery aisle.

4. She also thinks its hysterical to look down my shirt, find my nipple (it takes a while), and poke and/or squeeze it.  I try to stay cool about it and say, "Yes that's mommy's nipple." But then she tries to repeat the word, which she can't quite do yet and instead just sort of flicks her tongue in and out of her mouth really fast  like she's saying the "-pple" part of nipple over and over again, but silently.  And then I lose it.

5. She wants to climb on everything.  Like, everything.

I climb on this very movable toy?  A toy with wheels on a hardwood floor?

No, no you can't climb on that Adeline.

But look now I'm riding it Mama!  I got up here all by myself!

Get down.

LOOK NOW I'M STANDING ON IT!  BEST! TOY! EVER!

*sigh*

Yes, I risked her safety to take pictures of it.  I'm not ashamed. 

6. I've been eating a lot of Burger King.

That has nothing to do with Adeline, I just thought you should know.

7. She has started caring about what she's wearing.  At least on her feet.  I'll have to get a better picture of them, but she is obsessed with these pink sparkly shoes.  She wants them on all the time, and then runs around the house smiling like crazy because they make noise.  That's how I feel when I wear heels once a decade.

8. She's working on her first novel.

It's set in Paris, and it is breathtaking.

Oh, and it's snowing here!  I hear in the rest of the world it's still 80 degrees and to that I say yeah, but we have snowmen and hot cocoa and I'm about the hit the watch-The-Family-Stone-movie-every-day-and-cry-every-time-but-continue-to-repeatedly-watch-it-because-it-feels-so-homey-and-Christmasy-and-I-like-crying-during-the-holidays phase of my year.  Don't be jealous.

Childhood Joys

I talk to my sister every day.  When you talk to someone that often and you don't live in the same town or see the same people, typically what you end up talking about it TV, and then the rest of the time is spent with silence, listening to the other person breathe while you do chores around the house because you don't want to hang up but you have nothing else to talk about.  Well, that's what it's like for us anyway.  We do the standard catch up with our family, did-you-hear-what-your-mother-said sort of stuff, but mainly we end up talking about what happened on Dexter (because OHMYGOD Deb WHAT IS HAPPENING?!), or Grey's Anatomy (I swear Shonda, you make me cry more than anyone has ever made a person cry.  Not even when I went through that horrible breakup and listened to James Blunt on a loop for like a year straight, and then realized I wasn't sad anymore, but James Blunt is pretty much like the vocal equivalent to watching Bambi's mom get shot over and over and over again).

But today was different.  I don't know if it was something in the air or what, but today we didn't even talk about TV, we talked a lot about death, and childhood, and murderers, and childhood murderers, and being taken - like in that Liam Neeson movie where they kidnap the girl and drug her and sell her into slavery.  We started talking about how sad it was that our Grandma's friends and relatives keep dying and how awful that must be and then my sister said:

"Yeah, everything after childhood sucks."

Because she's bright and peppy.

But I knew what she meant.  What she meant was being an adult is hard.  Responsibility and bills and stuff, it sucks sometimes.  And we were very lucky because our parents did a really good job of trying to get us to enjoy our childhood.  Like they repeatedly told me not to wish I was 30, to enjoy the freedom of childhood, but to me childhood was not freedom, it was shackles.  I wanted to pay bills and carry a briefcase and have short terse conversations on the phone, then slam it down and buzz my secretary to get China on the line.  I didn't know what I wanted to do, or how I would get there, I just wanted to be in an office acting important because it seemed so cool.

And when I wasn't wishing I was taking important business calls from other countries, I was too busy being scared most of my childhood to enjoy it.

I'm not sure why, we didn't ever watch scary movies or anything, but for some reason my sister and I both had an unnatural fear of constantly being murdered.  Like, I was terrified of being murdered, probably through High School. Every night was just a battle to make it to morning alive, and every morning was a groggy slog through the day, dreading the impending doom of night.

B: "Maybe it's a kid thing.  Just overactive imaginations."

A: "I don't think every kid was always sure they were about to be murdered by someone in their closet, or hiding in the bathroom, or that Dad wasn't really Dad, he was someone impersonating Dad and he was going to slit our throats at night"

B: "Yeah.  Well, at least we grew out of it.  I mean, I don't think anyone is going to kill me anymore."

A: "Yeah, maybe it is just a kid thing.  Like we grew up and stopped being so self-centered, because really, we're not important enough to be murdered."

B: "Hey!  I'm important!  People wanna kill me all the time."


Anyway, my point in this whole thing is that yes - childhood is a magical time that should be enjoyed because shit does hit the fan once you get older.  Not that getting older sucks, on the contrary, but there is something so fantastic about being a kid that should not be ignored, or wished away.  And the good the about having kids is that you get to kind of have a do-over.  Like, Adeline is so happy most of the time, she laughs at everything.  And she's so excited by little things, and that makes me so happy and excited.  Normally, I would not find it hysterical to poke her father's belly button for a half an hour straight, but because she just discovered it, and won't stop giggling while she's doing it, it cracks me up.  Also, typically I would not find it hysterical to walk the dog around the house on his leash, but watching her do it is the best thing in the whole world because she is so thrilled that he's following her.

So maybe that's what it is for me.  I made it through childhood so I could have kids of my own and enjoy it even more.  Not so scary if you look at it that way.

Discovering that the tissue just KEEPS ON COMING.  It made such a mess, but I didn't stop her because it was too dang cute.

Hysterical laughter after discovering Dad's belly button.  Oh the joy.

Will not let us eat our own popsicles.  Girlfriend takes huge chunks out and then makes a face like she just swallowed a cat because it's so cold and sour, before she dives in for the next bite. (Not that cats are cold and sour, i just mean she made a weird face ok)

Doctor's Visits

Now that she's walking we cannot get that little girl to stop.  Even when I put her in her crib for a nap she stands right up and has to do laps in it before she collapses into a heap from total walking exhaustion.  Last night she found a roll of toilet paper and decided to walk it around the house, like it was her pet or something.  She took that think from room to room at least a dozen times all extremely serious about the whole thing.  Like, "Ok toilet paper, this is mom and dad's room. This is their bathroom.  This is the kitchen. OH MY GOSH!  I almost forgot!  This is the closet!  That was a close one.  Ok, continuing on..."  She wanted to take the toilet paper into the bathtub with her but I assured her that would end the tour forever.

This is typically what she looks like all the time:

Just a giant blur.  I feel like if she stops I won't even recognize her anymore.  

Also, we just had her one year shots and check up! (Yeah we're running a little late here - someone got hit by a car people, give me a break.) (Yeah that was like a month after I made the appointment late but still.)  She's in the 91st percentile for height, the 73rd for weight, and about the same for her head.  And then they brought in the shots.  I'm not squeamish at all about that stuff.  Like, I'll watch them draw my blood, needle going in and all, and will have no problems with it, but when the nurse brought in the shots for Adeline I almost lost my shit.  I wanted to swipe everything off the counter while screaming, "DON'T TOUCH MY BABY WITH THAT NEEDLE YOU MONSTER!!!!"  Sometimes that mommy-instinct thing kicks in at the weirdest times.  She can put seven little rocks in her mouth and I'm totally cool, but a nurse coming in to do her job and I nearly murder someone.  But I didn't.  I held it together.  And Addie screamed her head off until the nurse showed her a lollipop and then her head exploded with happiness.   She's never had a sucker before, and oh my gosh was she in heaven.

Sticky, sticky, gross, sticky heaven.

And because of the sucker we started brushing her teeth!  Which she loves!

Even if she is drunk while doing it.

Beyond Glad Everything Is Ok

So, I meant to write the other day but then the father of my child got hit by a car while riding his bike.

Yeah.

HIT BY A CAR.

He's ok, everything is fine.  But we're all on a lot of pain meds and we've spent enough time in the ER to last us forever.

Emotions and logic are really weird, because as soon as I saw he was ok and alive I was so mad I could have killed him.  Mad because how dare he scare us and get in a situation where we might not . . . whatever.  You know what I mean.  It may seem illogical to get mad at someone who has just been run over, but you don't have a baby with them.  Talk to me when that happens.  Once you have a baby with someone you're allowed to be mad at them for all kinds of irrational things.  The blankets are one the bed the wrong way.  Socks should not be put away inside out.  And no getting HIT BY CARS.  Love is a tricky emotion people.

Anyway, to lighten the mood this is the video I showed him in the ER.  We watched it many times.

Catch Up

I went to the store today and bought some lipstick.  I haven't worn lipstick since 1997, and now I know why.  I was walking down the makeup aisle when I noticed Adeline had something in her mouth so big she could barely close her lips, and her hands were already reaching for something else. I think this is a baby form of shoplifting, putting things in your mouth.  It's very juvenile.  You can't steal anything good in your mouth, baby!  Use some imagination!

Anyway, after a big struggle I got the thing out of her mouth and it was a cherry red lipstick, and I thought, "Huh.  Maybe I should wear lipstick!" So, I paid for it (trying to set an example here) and put it on.  It looked good in the car but inside - inside I look like a transvestite. 

And that's why I don't wear lipstick.  Because somehow eye makeup is ok, but lipstick makes me look like a  cheap tranny about to do an awful rendition of It's Raining Men for the early bird diners.  Even Addie wouldn't let me hold her while I had it on.

Anyway, that shit's getting returned.    

So, I'm back on the regular posting.  I promise.  For a quick update here's the quick details:

Adeline got chubby, dropped out of rehab and is hanging out with Lindsey Lohan.

(Just kidding, but that picture cracks me up so much.  She looks like a Belushi.)

Someone started walking all over the place!  Girlfriend will be hanging out with me and then two seconds later is across the house dropping our toothbrushes in the toilet.  Mobility is fun!

I don't know if you can see it in this picture, but the lady got totally nailed by the cat on the forehead. The scratch was sort of in the shape of a lightening bolt.  She's like a little Harry Potter.  With less sorcery.

She loves playing at parks! Except in this picture she's asking me to help her out of the tube.  She gets stuck in weird places.  As you can see, she's not actually stuck.  She just thinks she is.  

Ohmygod mawm!  I totally just ate your paperclip!

Someone got sick for the first time.  Like really sick.  High fevers, no eating, the whole deal.  Of course it was the one weekend her father went on a backpacking trip with no cell service.  And then my family came in town to celebrate her birthday.  It was a sad affair.  She spent three days clinging to me.  A sick child is the saddest thing ever.  

And then the fever broke and she got better!  Yay drugs!!

The moral of the story is, don't wear lipstick unless you know you can pull it off.  Lipgloss is fine.  Lipstick though, that makes me look like a carny. 

Happy Birthday One Year Old

This time last year I was all strung out on endorphins, smiling at everyone, not a care in the world that there were stitches in my lady parts, or that my nipples were minutes away from becoming giant blisters of searing pain because I had just given birth to this adorable, wrinkled, little thing who changed my life and my vagina forever.

One Year Ago.

This Morning.  One Year Old.

This morning I woke up and could not believe it has been a year already.  I remember giving birth like it was yesterday.  Ladies who say you forget all the pain and everything are flat out lying liars of lies.  I remember.  I remember well.  But maybe what they mean is that more than the labor, what I remember is the feeling the minute, no, the second she was out because Oh. My. God. it is seriously one of the most incredibly magical feelings in the world.  The happiness and love I felt not just for Adeline but for everyone within a five thousand mile radius of me was amazing.  I still to this day feel like I could kiss our delivery nurse on the lips if I ever see her again for being so kind and helpful.  And the doctor who had half her arm up in my vajage?  I'd make her a Thanksgiving dinner every single Thursday if she asked me to.

 Just thinking about it makes me tear up, because I'm still just so happy I got pregnant that one day when we didn't mean for it to happen because that little sucker has rocked my world with cuteness, and love, and happiness, and constant laughter, and a joy in things I never thought could be joyful, like a toothbrush, and toothy smiles, and discovering the whole world - I mean she's discovering the world.  For the first time.  And it is amazing.  It is so amazing to see her figure out that if she lets a ball drop it bounces.  IT BOUNCES PEOPLE!  And the giggle and repetition of that is so much fun I can't stand it, and she loves us, and she loves the dog, and she loves the cat, and she loves her family, and she really, really, really loves her Hello Kitty dressed as a bunny doll, so much that it's black and sticky with her love, and sometimes this, all of this, it's heartbreaking, and hard, and tedious, and exhausting, and I've never worried so much about something in my entire life because she's my baby, and she's so fragile, but she's also so amazingly strong, and tough, and honest, and moody, but mainly happy, and I don't say this lightly, I am truly a better person because of her.  EVERY ONE GETS THANKSGIVING ALL THE DAYS!!!

Anyway, it's her birthday.

Happy Birthday Baby Cakes.  Mama loves you more than you'll ever know.  Until maybe you have a daughter of your own one day, and then you might get the gist.  But probably not.