Monday, September 30, 2013

Special Time

A good way to make sure the kids wake up early from their nap is to break out the cross stitch, get yourself all situated, and happy, maybe a cozy blanket around your legs and a fun little stitchy-stitch in front of you, needle all threaded and whatnot, because the second you're ready to start - BLAMO! It's cry city.

On a similar note breaking out the cross stitch is also a good way to never get laid.

But does that stop me? Nooooooooooo. Because I have a Memento-like memory for what makes my babies wake up and what makes people not want to make-out with me.  For instance, I also still insist on cutting off my hair and starting a really good book.



Oh, you're comfy? WELL, WE'RE AWAKE THEN!


Along those lines, something weird happened the other day.  My sleeping partner and I found ourselves with a rare moment of quiet to ourselves and decided to catch up on some cuddling and Duck Dynasty.  Mid-way through Duck Dynasty though Josh's armpits started sweating all over me.  Now, it was a warm day, but not that warm, and he had just taken a shower, so I let it go and kept watching Uncle Sal be crazy.

But it was getting worse, and it was totally weird because Josh is not a sweaty guy even while he's working out but I didn't want to ruin the cuddly moment, so I kept quiet, but I just kept thinking to myself, What the hell is going on? Maybe he has a thyroid problem? Did he eat something really spicy right before we sat down? I should call the doctor and see if he has a thyroid problem.  Wait, does your thyroid make you sweat? Maybe it's lymph nodes.  A gland. It's some sort of gland.  I'll have the doctor check all his glands.  Maybe it was extra water caught in his armpit hair from the shower? Oh my god how much armpit hair does he have!? That's probably a follicle problem all that armpit hair. None on his head and they all ended up in his armpits to hold onto water like some sort of weird armpit-rain-forest.

Finally I couldn't take it anymore and sat up.

"Why are you so sweaty?" he asked before I could say anything.

"Why are YOU so sweaty?"

And then we both looked down to our sopping wet shirts.

Turns out, it was not Josh at all.  I had fantastically leaked breast milk all over both of us during our cuddle sesh and didn't even know.  I was literally laying in a puddle of my own breast milk.

HAWT.

This is why I don't understand how single moms do it.  How are you supposed to date when you can potentially leak bodily fluids onto your date?

The good news is Josh does not have any sort of thyroid, glandular or nodular problems.  He also is kind enough to stay silent while he thought I was sweating all over him, and I him.

The magic is not gone, people!  We still love each other enough to watch tv with each other covered in sweat.  Or breast milk as the case may be.



Tula thinks it's funny.  Until she realizes that's her food I just bathed in.



Addie had a really good hair day the other day.  




Thursday, September 26, 2013

Tunnel Hiking

The great thing about living in Bozeman is that you have (most) comforts of a city (one Starbucks, one movie theater, 70 billion steak restaurants, a hospital, Justin Timberlake's house, Michael Keaton's house, Jeff Bridges' house, and one of the best Targets in the whole United States. My sister, who lives within a five mile radius of five different Targets in LA, prefers to shop at the Bozeman Target because they have better clothes, and there are never any lines. *sigh* I love Target.)

What was I saying?

Oh, yeah.  So, you get the semi-comforts of a city and the joys of nature right outside your door.  There are so many trails in Bozeman that I've lived here over three years and haven't even tried half of them, all of which are either right outside our door, or a short ten minute drive away.  Lately we've been taking the little ladies on a hike on the weekend, and not only is it beautiful, but it just reminds me of how lucky we are to live here.

When I was a kid we went on a trip to Ireland and we wasted an entire roll of film on some cows that were crossing the road.  Because ohmygawd, COWS! In the road! What kind of old fashioned magic is this!?

But to Addie this is a normal thing.  The other day I was driving to Target (where else?) and she said, "Addie see cows Mommy?"

"You want to see cows?"

"Yeah. And horseys!"

"Horseys?"

"Please Mommy! Horseys! Moooo!"

And because I can't deny my daughter when she's excitedly screaming that horseys say moo, I made a left and bam! I was able to produce horseys AND cows.  And a deer.  I mean - c'mon.  Fuck yeah for nature showing up.

And then we were at Target five minutes later.

Now if only I could talk my entire family into moving here it'd be perfect.

The other day we literally rolled out of bed and took the girls on a little hike walk thing.  Here's proof we literally rolled out of bed.  Tula is still in her pjs, and I'm apparently sleep-hiking.



Me: Durrrrr.
Tula: What the hell is going on?



There was a tunnel on our walk.  Addie ran through it about twenty times she was so excited. Kids are so easy.  Who needs Disneyland when you have a graffiti-covered, probable nighttime drug den of a tunnel?!


Stopping to admire the drawings. "What's that mom?"
"That's a bad word."
"Addie likes that one."
"Of course you do."



Running. Girlfriend likes to book it.



HORSEYS! MOOOOOOOO.



I mean, seriously? Shut up you two.  There's too much cute for me to handle right now. 


Friday, September 13, 2013

California Love

If you didn't sing that title in an auto-tune, Tupac voice in your head, I'm not sure if we can still be friends.

Ok, so one of my favorite moments from my trip home was not the half hour screaming meltdown Addie threw because we WALKED AROUND THE BLOCK THE WRONG DIRECTION.  Oh the horror! Sometimes her life is really shitty people.  Clockwise?  Clockwise?!  What was I thinking! I'm pretty sure she petitioned to have my mother card taken away from me that night.

But no, that was not my favorite.  One of my favorite moments was when my good friend Katie came to visit with Gina, and their two little ones.



Hi Katie!
Hey Isabella, what's going on with your hand there? Did you just high five yourself in the face?


She's fine! And so cute it's borderline illegal.

Anyway, they came, and we were talking about potty training, I was saying how Addie is doing pretty well, and Katie was saying how Isabella says she has to go then throws a huge tantrum once you get her on the potty - normal mom-convo stuff - and then Addie actually demonstrated and went and used the potty!  

Yay for not peeing on Auntie's couch!  

But then Isabella said, "Bella go potty." to which Katie stood up, pointed her finger in her daughter's face, and yelled, "BULLSHIT!"

Oh my god, I'm still laughing.

For the record, Isabella just smiled and went back to pushing Addie's toys around. Kids are great.

Oh, and in case you noticed up there, while I was home I went ahead and chopped off all my hair. Just a fun little surprise for my baby daddy.  Guys love it when you majorly change your appearance right?




Here's a side view.  And a sleeping baby.  If I could fit her in my mouth, I WOULD PUT HER THERE AND CHEW HER UP.

The good news is he did like it.  And I love it.  Of course the bad news is, I have curly hair, so to have my hair look like this I have to straighten all these tiny little pieces.  It's more work than doing a mosaic of George Clooney with bottle caps. And if I wear it curly I look like a lesbian from the 90's.  I know you're picturing it in your head right now.  You know what I mean.

More on our trip tomorrow.  For now, here are some photos.




The girl loves bath time.  She's fantastic.


BOOOOOOOOOZERS



Leah, Addie, and Penelope.  I mean.  Shut your face.  This picture kills me.  Cousins are the best.



  Loving when her sister naps and we can spend time just the two of us. It's like we're on a secret date.  It's bonding time, even if it means she sits and reads me stories while I fold laundry. Sometimes I miss her so much during the day, even though she's with me it's so hard to give her any individual attention, so I frequently want to wake her up at midnight and bring her to bed with me to cuddle.  But then I remember she's 2 parts cuddly, 8 parts hitting you in the face for fun and I decide to just wait until the next time her sister is asleep to cuddle with her so I can at least defend myself.








Thursday, September 12, 2013

On My Way Back

So, I know it's been a month since I've posted, but I literally have not had a computer.  Mine died, then Josh's died, then I went to California with the girls. By myself. On a plane. With two babies. BY MYSELF.

Yeah, we'll be talking about that.

Until then, here's a little video of Tula loving her dad playing his guitar.  That little squishers is so cute I want to eat her alive.  Oh, and there's a cameo by Adeline.  She's pretty darling also.