Happy Birthday One Year Old

This time last year I was all strung out on endorphins, smiling at everyone, not a care in the world that there were stitches in my lady parts, or that my nipples were minutes away from becoming giant blisters of searing pain because I had just given birth to this adorable, wrinkled, little thing who changed my life and my vagina forever.

One Year Ago.

This Morning.  One Year Old.

This morning I woke up and could not believe it has been a year already.  I remember giving birth like it was yesterday.  Ladies who say you forget all the pain and everything are flat out lying liars of lies.  I remember.  I remember well.  But maybe what they mean is that more than the labor, what I remember is the feeling the minute, no, the second she was out because Oh. My. God. it is seriously one of the most incredibly magical feelings in the world.  The happiness and love I felt not just for Adeline but for everyone within a five thousand mile radius of me was amazing.  I still to this day feel like I could kiss our delivery nurse on the lips if I ever see her again for being so kind and helpful.  And the doctor who had half her arm up in my vajage?  I'd make her a Thanksgiving dinner every single Thursday if she asked me to.

 Just thinking about it makes me tear up, because I'm still just so happy I got pregnant that one day when we didn't mean for it to happen because that little sucker has rocked my world with cuteness, and love, and happiness, and constant laughter, and a joy in things I never thought could be joyful, like a toothbrush, and toothy smiles, and discovering the whole world - I mean she's discovering the world.  For the first time.  And it is amazing.  It is so amazing to see her figure out that if she lets a ball drop it bounces.  IT BOUNCES PEOPLE!  And the giggle and repetition of that is so much fun I can't stand it, and she loves us, and she loves the dog, and she loves the cat, and she loves her family, and she really, really, really loves her Hello Kitty dressed as a bunny doll, so much that it's black and sticky with her love, and sometimes this, all of this, it's heartbreaking, and hard, and tedious, and exhausting, and I've never worried so much about something in my entire life because she's my baby, and she's so fragile, but she's also so amazingly strong, and tough, and honest, and moody, but mainly happy, and I don't say this lightly, I am truly a better person because of her.  EVERY ONE GETS THANKSGIVING ALL THE DAYS!!!

Anyway, it's her birthday.

Happy Birthday Baby Cakes.  Mama loves you more than you'll ever know.  Until maybe you have a daughter of your own one day, and then you might get the gist.  But probably not.