Anyway, I was wondering what has changed to harden me so. I mean, I can even watch The Walking Dead while eating lunch like it ain't no thang. And then it hit me. As I yelled myself hoarse.
I have become a master threatener, negotiator, and sneaker upper on-er. With a three year old I spend the majority of my day saying things like, "If you don't _____, I'm going to take away your ____."
"I mean it. Do what I said now, or I will ____ your _____."
"Do you want me to start counting? Let me answer that, you do NOT want me to start counting young lady. You. Do. Not."
And my favorite:
**no words at all. just the look. THE look.** this one is reserved for especially strategic situations.
Not only that but I have seen so much blood, puke, pee, and poop, toys and pencils and forks stuck in the wrong places that fictional stuff is kids play.
The other day I even wiped blood off of Addie's leg and licked it off my hand because I didn't want to wipe it on my pants and who has time to find a napkin?!
The good news is, although they've hardened me, they've also made me all gooey and doughy on the inside because of their ridiculously cute mother f-ing faces!!! ARGH I just want to eat them off!
The other day I made homemade playdough. Tula was so excited, she even put her call on hold.
Pretending she didn't eat it. Like a sneaky little angel.
For some reason when I give the girls smoothies they go running to the front door. Like weird little puppies.
The couch would be more comfortable girls.
The other day Addie requested a tattoo. Of her father.
I think I have a new career ahead of me.