Monday, March 2, 2015

More

Part two of the Labor and Delivery Saga coming tomorrow, I promise!

But for now, here's just some pictures of the twins being super cute.  They're 7 weeks old already!  I mean, shut the front door.  I just had them!  But also they've been here forever.  They are chunky and darling and snuggly and best friends.  



Whenever I lay them down on the couch together, they always wind up linking arms or holding hands.  
IT'S LIKE THEY KNOW THEY'RE PRECIOUS.  




Henry giving me a huge smile!  Made my day.



About to eat his face off.



Luke gets so busy talking he doesn't know whether he's telling me a story or laughing.  He's such a card.


STOP!  I want to eat you!



Adeline is very helpful when I'm burping the babes.  She's all up in our biz all the time.  I love it.


Friday, February 20, 2015

From Yesterday

Yesterday I was not a good mom.

Most days I like to think I'm pretty good.  That I'm doing an ok job.  I'm happy, the kids are happy, everyone has been fed and no one has been sitting in poop for more than a few minutes.  Those are good things.  Most days I love what I'm doing, I adore all four kids, and I can't imagine not having them in my life.  Most days I can successfully take all four to Target, Costco, the mall, the museum, the library, or the park all by myself and we have a good time.  Yes, my house is messier than I'd like, and yes although I do laundry every day it doesn't necessarily get put away that same day (or week), but eh.  It's just for a short time.  It's just until these little suckers get old enough to do chores and then I'll have my own little Annie orphanage of sorts to put to work!  And yes, the only free time I have is an hour in the afternoon when they're all asleep at the same time (if I'm lucky), and an hour after everyone goes to sleep at night which means I'm up waaaaaay later than I want to be, but that's ok because I need that hour.  And it's all ok because most days, I can handle it and feel really great about where we are right now.  I'm lucky.

But not yesterday.

Yesterday I was not a good mom.

Yesterday I lost my temper, I screamed back, I let them see my I-want-to-sell-you-to-gypsies-face.  I gave in when they wanted candy so the screaming would stop.  I put on movies so they'd give me a few minutes of quiet.  I yelled when they yelled.  I threw tantrums right along with them.  I cried when they cried.  I grit my teeth, I said "Because I said so", I literally threw something across the house because I was so sick of getting hit with it.  I did not hold my shit together very well.

Not all day obviously.  There were nice moments.  There were still hugs, and kisses, and stories that got read, and songs that got sung, and puzzles that got put together, and everyone got some sort of meal, and baths were had.  And I told them I loved them.  So many times.

But for the most part I do not feel good about yesterday.

But I am also ok with that.

Out of the last six weeks of having four teeny tiny kids I can count on one hand the amount of significantly bad times we've had.  And that's including these last two weeks of having five out of the six of us be super sick.

And I'd say those are pretty good odds.  I'd say that's downright pretty great.

It doesn't mean yesterday doesn't feel bad.  It does.  It's lingering in my mouth like a bad taste, it's clouding my thoughts a little this morning.  But I'm pushing it aside, and telling myself - that's ok.  Yesterdays happen.  You are doing a great job.

Repeat after me: your kids are alive and you love them - you are doing a great job.

And today will be better.

Today I will be a better mom.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Labor and Delivery Part 1

Sorry it's taken so long!  The babies are five and a half weeks old already!  I'm not sure how that happened so fast, I feel like I was just in the hospital with a grown woman's arm all up in me (Oh my god, ALL up in there) (Like if I birth a watch later we'll know where it came from.) (more on that later), and now I have the all clear to exercise and have sex already!

Not that either of those are going to happen because the way I get pregnant I'll be doing sit ups and Josh will text me and I'll get pregnant.  Instead, we will from here on out express our love with high fives and sexy winks.  Because four kids are amazing, truly, I cannot tell you how in love I am with these little boys!  But also, four kids is enough.  So we're going on the pill, the diaphragm, condoms, foam, the female condom, the depo shot, a nicotine patch, and a vasectomy.

Not that you needed to know all that, but there you go!  I will literally have a drugstore in my vagina.

Ok, on to the babies!

Oh, how miserable I was those last few week.


This is me the day before I had the babies.  
Not even gonna pretend.


I'm not typically a I-need-my-mommy type of a person.  I mean I talk to her on the phone every day and of course I need her, but I'm also INCREDIBLY stubborn and independent and hate to be told what to do, so I need her but I don't usually need her to come in help me because the inner three year old in me always says, "No!  I'll do it myself!"  But a few days after Christmas I was so uncomfortable, and unable to move or do anything that I called my mom crying and begged her to get on a plane that second.  Which she did without question.  Because she is my mom.  A superhero.

And I thought I was going to have the babies any second.  And then she was here for two weeks and the babies still were not here!  Those boys were hanging on with all their might, much to the shock of everyone.  Even the doctor who checked me was like, "I don't think we'll see you again."  But of course I saw them.  I walked around four centimeters dilated and at zero station (head is pretty much out) for a LONG time.  Usually when you're that progressed you're in the hospital screaming in pain, but my body was all, Nah.  Let's just slowly eek these suckers out and test Amy's will to live.

I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I really couldn't even breathe without being uncomfortable especially with the PUPPS rash taking over my body in a cruel form of torture on someone full term pregs with two massive boys.

You get it.  Mama wasn't happy.



I know I'm smiling, but that's only so I won't cry in front of Addie.  Again.


So, anyway - Friday Jan 9th I went into the hospital to get a test done to make sure things were ok in there.  I was sure we were leaving.  I was sure we were going home and I'd be pregnant forever, but everyone else had other plans.

My doctor walked in and was like, "Hey!  Let's have these babies today!" and I immediately started shaking and sweating and hyperventilating.  Not because I didn't want to have them, but because I didn't want to have them.  Like, having babies is not easy and I sort of prefer not knowing things are about to get ridiculously painful, I'd rather just have it happen.  I also had a premonition it was going to be fast and furious and was not ready for the chaos.  But oh man I had no idea how fast or furious.

But luckily (?) I had Strep B this time and had to be on antibiotics for four hours before anything could happen so while I was getting that Josh and I chilled on my hospital bed and watched back to back episodes of Say Yes To The Dress.  Because he loves me.  And I was about to give him two sons so he can watch whatever I say he can watch!

(Just kidding, he secretly loves Say Yes To The Dress.  And So You Think You Can Dance.  And Teen Mom.)

And then, after those four hours flew by my doctor bounced in and announced she was going to break my water.  Easy!

And she did.

And that's when    shit.  got.  real.  ya'll.


But first!  Some pictures.




I took all four to the museum by myself!  Addie celebrated by growing eagle wings.



Baby boys loving each other.



Calm burritos listening to their dad sing inappropriate rap songs in the middle of the night.



Tula rocking the Elsa hair.



Henry getting his first taste of sunshine.



And Luke getting his.
Man I love them.





Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Babies On Board On Everywhere!

So, I'm gonna post about the labor and delivery very soon, but first just a quick post with too many pictures!

Also, I'm on day two of being a mom of four all by myself and just had to write about it really quick so that if things go south, I'll know I did it for a while and it was great!  And that sounds totally crazy, but the babies are only 2.5 weeks old, all they do is sleep and eat and be super cute, so the last two days by myself I have managed to have a normal(ish) life and feel really great about it!  It's amazing how having kids can make the smallest accomplishments seem incredibly major!  

(Also, maybe I've chilled out a lot, but going from two to four has so far been WAY easier that going from one to two for me.  Who knew!  Maybe what I needed to relax was to be outnumbered. Like, I have no choice but to just make it work now, so that's what's gonna happen.  No need to freak out about it, freaking out will not help a lick!  Life's a tricky little game!)

In the past two days I have SUCESSFULLY gotten all four kids up and dressed and fed, gotten Addie to school, nursed two kids in tandem about twenty times, fed two toddlers about eight meals, took my youngest three to Target and got everything on my list, read Hop On Pop about a billion times to Tula, gave two baths, took two showers, baked cookies, ate about double what my lover eats (which is a major feat as the guy is a human eating machine)(yay nursing appetite!), took all four to a friend's house for a play date, did three loads of laundry, put away endless amounts of dishes, and managed to read two whole chapters of my book! Uninterrupted!  (That's because it was at midnight when everyone was asleep but still!  Books!)

That may seem like a silly list to be happy about, but I am so happy about it I don't care about people thinking it's silly because clearly they don't know what being happy means!  Happiness is enjoying the little teeny things you accomplish in a day!  Happiness is snuggling two tiny babies at once!  Happiness is watching the father of your children love his kids so much he immediately smiles the minute he sees them, even if they are throwing his iPad into the trash can for fun!  Happiness is being able to have a four minute conversation with your best friend before your one and a half year old demands your attention by putting the Windex bottle in her mouth!  

Happiness is the chaos of getting four kids into a car all by yourself, and having no one be crying by the time it takes you to close their door and get into the driver's seat.  That my friends is pure joy.

And I am so blessed.

Sorry for the sap, I can't help it.  Hormones.




My heart with this picture.  Exploding.




While my mom was here she made everyone hats!
Give the woman a glass of wine and she'll make anything!



Sisters holding hands, because they're darling.



Nap time boys.  So sweet.



I get a lot of company on the couch.  



Holding both with one arm so I can pour wine with the other.



Relaxing with Dad.  



Sisters holding brothers!



How I spend a huge part of the day.  I love it so much.  When they're eighteen I'm gonna be holding them to my neck like that and they're gonna be all, "Ugh Mom!  Stop I can't breathe! You're embarrassing us." And I'm gonna be all, "LET ME LOVE YOU!"




First family picture of all six.  
So in love with all of them I want to puke.  
I mean, really.
Ridiculous.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

They're Here!

Introducing. . .





Luke Worley Amidon
(6lbs 15oz, 20 in, 3:37pm 1/9/15)
AND
Henry Briggs Amidon
(6lbs 9oz, 21.5 in, 3:45pm 1/9/15)



So much more later, about the delivery because that - THAT - my friends is quite a story.  And something I will be repeating to the boys any time they try to quilt trip me into something.  Oh ho ho little boys, you can't have that toy because of that one time you made Mommy give birth to you IN A HALLWAY.  Oh yeah.  There's a lot to tell.

But for now I'm too busy loving these little guys right now.  Oh and nursing.  Lots of nursing. (At the same time!)  

I could not be more happy, or thrilled or in love with these little guys!  They are ridiculous, and perfect, and darling.  And we are so blessed.


Amazing, wonderful Dad and his boys.
This picture kills me.  Right in the heart.




Henry being awake and skeptical.  But also edible.



Luke awake!  Working on his karate chop.  Equally edible.



Babies!  Luke on the left Henry on the right.  They're not identical, which is totally obvious to me but some people are having trouble because their cuteness is blinding.  
I understand.





Right after the double nurse, I do the double burp.  Good thing I have long arms.




Right after I saw this picture is when I realized I have four kids.  FOUR!  
How did that happen?
How can my heart even be handling this right now.  I am such a sappy lovey mess right now its crazy.

Ugh.  So much love.





Saturday, January 3, 2015

37 Weeks!

THIRTY SEVEN!  That means full term people.  Full term for one baby, let alone twins!

I'm pretty much a machine.  I just hold things in forever.  At this point I feel like I'll always be pregnant.  Like the boys will be teenagers and I'll just be reading math problems to them through my belly and taking my gigantic body to prom and swaying with them next to all the cute kids I think they should be dating.  That won't be weird, or creepy or anything.







37 Weeks!  



Also, turns out I have Strep B which is something they only test you for when you're pregnant, and anyone can have it, and it's a very swabby on your private areas test.  I didn't have it with the girls, but now I have everything.  I have that, I have twins, I have itchy skin, I have a constantly stuffed up nose, I have the most uncomfortable sleeping positions in the world because baby b loves to stick his head right where I'm trying to lay, and then baby a gets the hiccups, and then Josh starts snoring, and then Boris comes to my side to whine for me to help him into bed despite the fact he's perfectly capable of jumping up by himself, then Addie quietly says through the monitor "Mom!  I have to go pee pees in the poooooooottttttttyyyyyy!" and then Tula wakes up and starts yelling for her dolls, "DOWLS.  Night night!" 

And then!  Then I got PUPPPS.  Which is not as cute as it sounds.  It's a pregnancy rash.  Yay!  It's insanely itchy and the good news is it can spread to your arms, legs, back and torso!  AND it takes about a week after having the babies to go away.  Unless you're super lucky and then it stays with you the whole time you're post-partum-ing which is like, FOREVER.

But honestly, I don't really care.  I'll take it all as long as the babies come out healthy and happy!  Really.  I'll stay like this for another month if they need me to.  The less time we all have to spend in the hospital the better.  I would be beyond thrilled if I could hold them right away and take them home with me when I went home!  That's the scariest part for me I think, not being able to hold them right away.  Tula and Addie came right onto my chest before the cord was cut and stayed there for at least the first hour.  Until I was forced to pee by the nurses who kept threatening to catheter me if I didn't pee.  

Oh, but I won't have to wait a month.  I'm scheduled to be induced on the 12th if it hasn't happened by then!  WHAT! 

I can't imagine that will happen, but I guess you never know.  These boys are already mamas boys for sure.  (I LOVE IT)




On a different note, I've been working on a cross stitch thing for their room which I finally finished a few weeks ago!



It's a ship!  And it took FOREVER.  Cross stitch is time consuming yo.




Here's a professional photo of what it'll look like in good lighting and on a frame.
I love everything this girl designs.  




Also, my girls. Because.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Still Pregnant!

If I had a nickel for every time I called someone and they sounded disappointed I'm not in the hospital I'd be a very rich woman right now.  Unfortunately no one is paying me and instead I'm getting increasingly anxious.  Like, every time someone asks me if it's happening I have this split second where I'm like, "Wait. . .is it?  Do they know something I don't?  Is there a baby hanging out of my vagina right now?!!!"

And then I come back to reality and realize I'm most likely going to be the first person who notices if I'm in labor.  So, I've got that going for me.  Which is nice.

In the meantime the girls are getting very cute and snuggly.  It's like they know!  I tried to get a little rest on Christmas and this happened:




Totally worth it though.  They're just so dang lovey.  Even if they are squishing their brothers.




Our last attempt at a family photo with the four of us.  We cannot get all of us to stay still at the same time.  I'm sure it'll be much easier with six.



Also, Tula was ridiculous this morning.  
I want to fry her up and eat her WITH FREAKING SYRUP.
(It's pictures like these I need to keep around when she's throwing a major tantrum and tossing everything within reach into the toilet our of pure rage.