Sometimes we throw around the idea of having a third kid (in sort of a "what if we had a hundred million dollars" kind of way), because Josh has always wanted a son, and then I'm like, Sure lets try for a boy, our luck we'll end up with SEVENTEEN MORE GIRLS.
And then we got separate beds like Lucy and Ricky.
Turns out, girls are pretty amazing though. The two of ours, together, they're like this force-field of screechy, stubborn, hilarious, dominance that I secretly could not be more proud of. I mean, Tula bosses us all around. TULA. The nine month old.
Fucking rulers of my world in the best possible way.
Having kids has definitely taught me I was not strong before. I thought I was, but now that I live in a house with two women under three who think they're the boss of me - that has made me strong. Because it's hard to be a parent in a good way. I could probably parent like an asshole (and let's be honest, I'm sure I do sometimes because being a mom every day? that shit is hard) but I try, and I try, and I try to teach them they're not the center of the universe, and that they need to be respectful, and that they need to be kind, and that they need to pick up their toys, and that they need to eat their vegetables, and that they need to not pee on the dog, and that they need to wipe front to back, and that they need to wear socks and shoes in the snow, and that they need to cover their mouths when they cough, and they need to keep asking questions, and they need to keep learning, and they need to say I love you when they feel it, and they need to hug their friends because friends are everything, and they need to hug their family because family is everything, and they need to share their toys, and they need to not pull their big sister's hair, and they need to not yell at their dad just because he walked in the door the wrong way, and they need to give kisses, and hugs, and hold hands because all of that makes people so happy, and they need to sing as loud as they want to Frozen because the Frozen soundtrack is amazing, and they need to dance all crazy for as long as they can before they get self-conscious, and they need to wear sunscreen, and they need to dream, and they need to know they really can be anything they want to be, really, anything, and they need to write thank you cards, and they need to say please, and they need to say no thank you, and they need to keep making me cuddle with them at night because those extra minutes are so much better than The Bachelor anyway (Oh, Juan Pablo how you vex me!), and they need to listen when I say no, and listen when Daddy says no, and they need to tell someone when they're hurting their feelings, and they need to stand up for themselves, and they need to stand up for each other, and they need to love, and they need to nap, and they need to let me drink my coffee before the yelling begins, and they need to be kind, and they need to, need to, need to.
And every day I fail.
And every day I win.
And being a parent is hard.
But probably not as hard as being a kid sometimes.
Because being a kid is hard. I remember. That shit is really, really hard sometimes. But it's also so, so, so amazing.
And together we are making it. And we are having so much fun, even if sometimes we all end the day in tears.
Because god forbid someone take a bite of her broccoli.
My favorite picture of me and Adeline.
All I really want is girls.
And in the morning it's girls.
'Cause in the evening it's girls.
I like the way that they walk.
And it's chill to hear them talk.
And I can always make them smile.
From White Castle to the Nile.