Childhood Joys

I talk to my sister every day.  When you talk to someone that often and you don't live in the same town or see the same people, typically what you end up talking about it TV, and then the rest of the time is spent with silence, listening to the other person breathe while you do chores around the house because you don't want to hang up but you have nothing else to talk about.  Well, that's what it's like for us anyway.  We do the standard catch up with our family, did-you-hear-what-your-mother-said sort of stuff, but mainly we end up talking about what happened on Dexter (because OHMYGOD Deb WHAT IS HAPPENING?!), or Grey's Anatomy (I swear Shonda, you make me cry more than anyone has ever made a person cry.  Not even when I went through that horrible breakup and listened to James Blunt on a loop for like a year straight, and then realized I wasn't sad anymore, but James Blunt is pretty much like the vocal equivalent to watching Bambi's mom get shot over and over and over again).

But today was different.  I don't know if it was something in the air or what, but today we didn't even talk about TV, we talked a lot about death, and childhood, and murderers, and childhood murderers, and being taken - like in that Liam Neeson movie where they kidnap the girl and drug her and sell her into slavery.  We started talking about how sad it was that our Grandma's friends and relatives keep dying and how awful that must be and then my sister said:

"Yeah, everything after childhood sucks."

Because she's bright and peppy.

But I knew what she meant.  What she meant was being an adult is hard.  Responsibility and bills and stuff, it sucks sometimes.  And we were very lucky because our parents did a really good job of trying to get us to enjoy our childhood.  Like they repeatedly told me not to wish I was 30, to enjoy the freedom of childhood, but to me childhood was not freedom, it was shackles.  I wanted to pay bills and carry a briefcase and have short terse conversations on the phone, then slam it down and buzz my secretary to get China on the line.  I didn't know what I wanted to do, or how I would get there, I just wanted to be in an office acting important because it seemed so cool.

And when I wasn't wishing I was taking important business calls from other countries, I was too busy being scared most of my childhood to enjoy it.

I'm not sure why, we didn't ever watch scary movies or anything, but for some reason my sister and I both had an unnatural fear of constantly being murdered.  Like, I was terrified of being murdered, probably through High School. Every night was just a battle to make it to morning alive, and every morning was a groggy slog through the day, dreading the impending doom of night.

B: "Maybe it's a kid thing.  Just overactive imaginations."

A: "I don't think every kid was always sure they were about to be murdered by someone in their closet, or hiding in the bathroom, or that Dad wasn't really Dad, he was someone impersonating Dad and he was going to slit our throats at night"

B: "Yeah.  Well, at least we grew out of it.  I mean, I don't think anyone is going to kill me anymore."

A: "Yeah, maybe it is just a kid thing.  Like we grew up and stopped being so self-centered, because really, we're not important enough to be murdered."

B: "Hey!  I'm important!  People wanna kill me all the time."


Anyway, my point in this whole thing is that yes - childhood is a magical time that should be enjoyed because shit does hit the fan once you get older.  Not that getting older sucks, on the contrary, but there is something so fantastic about being a kid that should not be ignored, or wished away.  And the good the about having kids is that you get to kind of have a do-over.  Like, Adeline is so happy most of the time, she laughs at everything.  And she's so excited by little things, and that makes me so happy and excited.  Normally, I would not find it hysterical to poke her father's belly button for a half an hour straight, but because she just discovered it, and won't stop giggling while she's doing it, it cracks me up.  Also, typically I would not find it hysterical to walk the dog around the house on his leash, but watching her do it is the best thing in the whole world because she is so thrilled that he's following her.

So maybe that's what it is for me.  I made it through childhood so I could have kids of my own and enjoy it even more.  Not so scary if you look at it that way.

Discovering that the tissue just KEEPS ON COMING.  It made such a mess, but I didn't stop her because it was too dang cute.

Hysterical laughter after discovering Dad's belly button.  Oh the joy.

Will not let us eat our own popsicles.  Girlfriend takes huge chunks out and then makes a face like she just swallowed a cat because it's so cold and sour, before she dives in for the next bite. (Not that cats are cold and sour, i just mean she made a weird face ok)