Catch Up

I went to the store today and bought some lipstick.  I haven't worn lipstick since 1997, and now I know why.  I was walking down the makeup aisle when I noticed Adeline had something in her mouth so big she could barely close her lips, and her hands were already reaching for something else. I think this is a baby form of shoplifting, putting things in your mouth.  It's very juvenile.  You can't steal anything good in your mouth, baby!  Use some imagination!

Anyway, after a big struggle I got the thing out of her mouth and it was a cherry red lipstick, and I thought, "Huh.  Maybe I should wear lipstick!" So, I paid for it (trying to set an example here) and put it on.  It looked good in the car but inside - inside I look like a transvestite. 

And that's why I don't wear lipstick.  Because somehow eye makeup is ok, but lipstick makes me look like a  cheap tranny about to do an awful rendition of It's Raining Men for the early bird diners.  Even Addie wouldn't let me hold her while I had it on.

Anyway, that shit's getting returned.    

So, I'm back on the regular posting.  I promise.  For a quick update here's the quick details:

Adeline got chubby, dropped out of rehab and is hanging out with Lindsey Lohan.

(Just kidding, but that picture cracks me up so much.  She looks like a Belushi.)

Someone started walking all over the place!  Girlfriend will be hanging out with me and then two seconds later is across the house dropping our toothbrushes in the toilet.  Mobility is fun!

I don't know if you can see it in this picture, but the lady got totally nailed by the cat on the forehead. The scratch was sort of in the shape of a lightening bolt.  She's like a little Harry Potter.  With less sorcery.

She loves playing at parks! Except in this picture she's asking me to help her out of the tube.  She gets stuck in weird places.  As you can see, she's not actually stuck.  She just thinks she is.  

Ohmygod mawm!  I totally just ate your paperclip!

Someone got sick for the first time.  Like really sick.  High fevers, no eating, the whole deal.  Of course it was the one weekend her father went on a backpacking trip with no cell service.  And then my family came in town to celebrate her birthday.  It was a sad affair.  She spent three days clinging to me.  A sick child is the saddest thing ever.  

And then the fever broke and she got better!  Yay drugs!!

The moral of the story is, don't wear lipstick unless you know you can pull it off.  Lipgloss is fine.  Lipstick though, that makes me look like a carny.