Be Afraid, But Please Don't Be Because Then I Might Get Scared of Your Scaredness

This is the main reason I never, ever want to go diving.  

Nooooooooooooo!

Not to mention, I'll probably never snorkel again.  Why? Because as soon as my face is in the water a giant shark-made-out-of-fish is going to form and . . . and then. . . . my fears never really progress past the actual terror part, so I'm not sure what it would do, but it would scare me.  And I do not like to be scared.  I can't even watch the previews for scary movies because they give me nightmares.  Nightmares about being scared.  My brain shuts off before the actual harm is done, because that's never the really scary part is it?  I mean sure, you don't want to be stabbed by a school of fish, but also once you're stabbed there's nothing you can do about it is there?  The buildup to the fish stabbing - that's where the terror really lies.  Because you could stop it, but you can't because you're not part mermaid, and OH MY GOSH THEY'RE GOING TO GET Y  ***stab you're dead***

So, last night, while the whole house was deep in sleep I'm suddenly awoken by a low beeping, which cautiously turns into a terrifying children's melody, you know the kind, they are in every single movie with a clown ever made.  It gets louder and louder, and suddenly I'm wondering how I can escape through the cat door in our bedroom and break into Adeline's room to save her without tipping off the clown monster that I'm awake and moving around.

And then it hits me.  Her dang toys are setting each other off.  Normally this would continue to scare me even more, but since I've spent the last few weeks hearing those ding dang toys all playing at once, I wasn't scared so much as feeling murderous.  Like, suddenly the toys should be scared.  No, they should be terrified.  Because I was about to go ape shit on some inanimate objects waking up the house be damned!

I was just about to grab the blow torch when my baby daddy woke up and I told him to go kill the toys or I would.

And all at once I felt at peace.  Like I'd turned some sort of scaredy cat corner.  The student has because the master.  I would never be afraid again!

Until my house creaks weirdly again.

Then it's pee my pants time.

But lets be honest, when you're pregnant, it's always pee your pants time.

I will save you mama.

Thank you little tiny love of my life.