Still Pregnant!

If I had a nickel for every time I called someone and they sounded disappointed I'm not in the hospital I'd be a very rich woman right now.  Unfortunately no one is paying me and instead I'm getting increasingly anxious.  Like, every time someone asks me if it's happening I have this split second where I'm like, "Wait. . .is it?  Do they know something I don't?  Is there a baby hanging out of my vagina right now?!!!"

And then I come back to reality and realize I'm most likely going to be the first person who notices if I'm in labor.  So, I've got that going for me.  Which is nice.

In the meantime the girls are getting very cute and snuggly.  It's like they know!  I tried to get a little rest on Christmas and this happened:

Totally worth it though.  They're just so dang lovey.  Even if they are squishing their brothers.

Our last attempt at a family photo with the four of us.  We cannot get all of us to stay still at the same time.  I'm sure it'll be much easier with six.

Also, Tula was ridiculous this morning.  

I want to fry her up and eat her WITH FREAKING SYRUP.

(It's pictures like these I need to keep around when she's throwing a major tantrum and tossing everything within reach into the toilet our of pure rage.

36 Weeks!

Oh my gosh we made it to 36 weeks!!!

All black is slimming.  I mean, you probably can't even tell I'm pregnant.

Unless you see me from this angle.  Holy gigantic belly Batman!

I call this flattering angle I-have-so-many-stretch-marks-my-stretch-marks-have-stretch-marks.

Everyone is so on edge right now, that when I roll over at night (which is about a hundred times a night because there's no way to get this body comfortable, until they make pools you can sleep in), Josh freaks out and says, "ARE YOU OK?" and I'm all, "Yes, I'm just going pee.  AGAIN."  And last night I spent a lot of time counting contractions that led to a trip to the bathroom.  So that was fun!   

Nothing like getting everyone all excited for my poop!  

Ah, the joys of pregnancy.  It really is a special time.

I'm still holding out for next weekend, but I'll take New Year's Eve if they have to.

The good news is we made it past Christmas!  Yay!  And it was so nice.  It was the first year Addie really cared, and that made it so much fun!

Santa showed up at Grandma and Grandpa's house and simultaneously thrilled her and scared her running back to her dad's legs.

She found the presents.  And then proceeded to open anything, no matter whose name was on it.  She's very helpful.

I'm thinking I need to teach them something other than "cheese" to say when taking their picture.

Giving us a full blown concert.

I couldn't find Tula for a while, and then there she was, in the corner like an angel, reading books.  She kills me.

Also, thank God her silence was about reading and not breaking anything, which is what usually happens when she's quiet.  I found a screw driver and some banana smashed into the printer the other day, so that was a fun surprise.

Christmas Eve belly.  

Panic.  Slight panic over here.

But that's ok.  I've got a lot of wine on hand.  I mean they're pretty much done right?  They'll be fine.

Kidding, I'm not drinking.  The last thing I want is to go into labor while I'm tipsy.  That's right up there with being naked in front of a room full of strangers.  Oh, wait. . . that's about to happen.  

Happy Holidays to everyone!

35 Weeks!!!

THIRTY FIVE!

That's the average that twins are born, and we made it!  And we're making it past Christmas dang it!

I know I say that every time, but positive thinking works!  I once had a chiropractor who told me she was sick of shaving under her arms so she did some serious positive thinking about it and now she is completely hairless.  So, there you go.  (She also used a little magic drum to feel what was wrong with me, so there's also that.  However, she was usually right.  Do I think she was a little bat sh*t crazy?  Yes, yes I do.  But I still saw her for a like two years, because I like crazy.  And magic.)

35 weeks!

And yes, I am wearing one of the two shirts I've worn in every picture the last three months, because that's all I can fit in and I refuse to buy new maternity clothes.  Those shirts and my three pairs of yoga pants are on heavy rotation.  

Not only did my chiropractor use a tiny drum (which she didn't play, she just touched - it was all very technical), but then when she found the problem spot on you, she used this little thing that looked like a wine opener and when she pulled something it made this incredibly loud clicking noise on your back or neck or whatever she was healing.  And dang it all if I didn't walk out of there feeling better.  Which is probably just a very good example of how mind works over matter in a maje way.  Now I plan on not feeling the pain of child birth with tiny blessed cymbals and Josh's hypnosis.

Except I will feel it.  BECAUSE THERE WILL BE TWO BABIES COMING OUT OF MY VAGINA ON THE SAME DAY.

Cymbals be damned, I'm thinking really hard about that epidural this time.

I didn't get an epidural with my other two, and it worked out just fine (even the part where I screamed, "Give me drugs!" and then tried to bite Josh), but this time everyone (the medical professionals) are sort of insisting I get one because of various reasons that seem to make a lot of sense, but I still am feeling really weird about it.  I am not good about not being in control of my body.  I know it sounds crazy but I'd rather feel the pain and know what's happening than just be sitting there numb while a person or two is trying to escape my body.  

The reasons my doctor is highly suggesting it, again, make a ton of sense, ie; what if baby b doesn't turn and she has to REACH INTO MY UTERUS and pull him out?  Or what if baby a comes out fine but baby b needs some sort of extra stuff and they need anesthesia already in there?  That's the one that worries me the most.  And of course no one can know what's going to happen, and ultimately it's my decision so . . . that's good because we all know how great I am at making decisions **coughIstillcan'tdecideaboutmyhaircough**.  

It's so weird because in some areas I was like born to decide things and be all in charge, and in a few certain areas I'm all - maybe I want a mohawk?

And in typing this, I just decided, my body and my babies are DEFINITELY something I was born to be in charge of and so it shall be!  And I will decide when I'm ready!  Take that person who wants to put a needle in my SPINE.

*end weird rant*

Sorry!  I've got a lot on my mind.

In other news, we took the most incredible Christmas picture yesterday for our Christmas cards!  I die.

I mean.  It's amazing.

Tula is not cool with Santa.  AT ALL.

Also, Uncle Andy and Auntie Christina and James came over last night, and since the girls were dressing up, he had to also.  I think he's happier about it than anybody else.

Tula was a little better with the reindeer.  A little stunned they were real, but at least she's not screaming bloody murder at them.

Addie is ready for the reindeer rodeo!

34 Weeks!

34 people!  THIRTY FOUR!  XXXIV!

At this point I celebrate every week further.  This week I am celebrating with Hart of Dixie.  Don't judge, it makes me so happy.  It's like ice cream for my brain.

Which is good because I don't need any more ice cream for my belly.

34 weeks!

I don't even think I liked Summer on The O.C., but I love Zoe Hart so much if we were having girls I would name them Zoe and Hart.  THAT'S RIGHT I WOULD!  You're not the boss of me!  I mean not that I would trust my doctor if she walked in the room at a stout 4 feet 9 in Prada heels and booty shorts, but damnit if the CW doesn't make things work.

Also, this cracked me up.

Everyone in the world is going to never read this blog again but I promise, I'll never talk about Hart of Dixie again.

MAYBE!

Meanwhile Addie is getting really build-y lately which is awesome!  Like, without any help she did the following:

Teeny stonehenge on her own?  Genius?  Probably.

Tower.  Apparently for us to all live in.  Tula gets to stay in the stray block in front of the tower, according to Addie.  At least she thought of her.

(The Native Americans are still skeptical.)

Maybe this is totally normal behavior from a 3 year old, but I was totally thrilled about it.  So much so I'm gonna say 'totally' one more time.  Totally.

Also, Tula and I had a TON of fun yesterday when she discovered I am magic.  Gosh I hope she never forgets it.

Warning! Graphic Photos!

This is for all the people who tell me I don't look like I'm carrying twins.  It's also for all those who say they want twins.  Do you?  DO YOU REALLY?  I have so many stretch marks you could play matchbox cars race track on my belly for hours.

But that's good, because that means the boys are big.  As of Friday they were both close to 5.5 lbs.  THAT'S A LOT OF BABY UP IN HERE.  And based on the way I'm eating they're just gonna keep getting bigger, which is fantastic.  (Four waffles, eggs, and bacon for lunch, and I could have kept going) Oh, and Tula thinks my belly is a play area.  Poor girl is not even going to recognize me after these little guys come out.  She constantly runs up to me and rest her head on my belly, like it's her own weird water bed and says, "Mama, nigh nigh."  UGH! I want to eat her face off!

Me, Tula and the boys.

Tula trying to scale the mountain.

Meanwhile, we are in the middle of a snow storm and Addie and Tula worked VERY hard on a snowman that just sort of looked like a mountain.  

Also, Tula's dolls go everywhere now.

Keeping her poor doll warm.  Someone get that girl some pants!

Sled ride around the neighborhood!  Somehow Tula wound up the big spoon.  Addie is thrilled.

33 Weeks!

According to Baby Center that means they're about the size of pineapples.  Yeah, that's pretty much how it feels.  

33 Weeks!

I saw the doctor yesterday and they said I'm the last of their ladies pregnant with twins, all the others have had their babies, the longest one holding on til 35 weeks.  THAT'S A WEEK AND A HALF A WAY PEOPLE!  

Cue tiny brain explosion.

But then the nurse (so sweet) told me she thought I had the body type to hold these suckers in, so that is what's happening.  Also, Josh is going to take over cleaning the bathrooms because I told him cleaning products have been known to put women into early labor.  Man, that guy will believe everything!  I should have gone bigger!  Oh honey, I can't shave my legs because razors have a special metal in them that if touched can cause your water to break, could you do it for me?  Or, Hey love, do you think you could just give me an hour long massage three times a day? It'll help relax my uterus.

33 Weeks and 3 days.  I grow by the second people.  Also, that's not a maternity sweater, but I already had it on before I heard the tearing of stitches and permanent stretching out of fabric, so, it's forever - That Sweater I Wore One Day I Was Super Pregnant That Tula Rubbed Chocolate On Immediately Even Though She Wasn't Eating Chocolate Nor Did I Find Any Anywhere, Dear Lord I Hope It Wasn't Poop

Also, for comparison, I found this picture of when I was 38 weeks with Tula.  I mean.  I don't even look pregnant compared to this time.

38 weeks with Tula!

Sorry, not much to say right now.  I'm so tired I have about enough energy to open my Reese's Peanut Butter Christmas Trees and then eat them.  Sometimes I don't even have the energy to eat them and I wake up to the sound of Boris licking his chops after devouring the poisonous chocolate.

Addie found a new bff at the Christmas Stroll!

And Grandpa helped her out so she could see Santa.  

So Close

Last week I was 31 weeks!

Whoa!

And baby a (the bottom baby) was head down!  Yay!  That is good news, because that is the baby that needs to be head down so I don't have to have a c-section.  So as long as that little crazy stays that way, vaginal delivery in front of a room of twenty it is!  Exactly what I want!  Apparently even my pediatrician has to be there.  I really like him, but never thought I'd have to be naked in the worst way in front of him.  I think the first time I met him my boobs were out and I was trying to figure out how to nurse Addie by repeatedly shoving my nipple in her nose and yelling, "Smell that?!  That's what you need for life!  Latch dang it!  LATCH!!!"  So that will be fun!

Sidenote: No one tells you how hard nursing is the first time.  It's hard, people.  It seems like in the movies babies come out and are immediately clean and drinking like a four month old, but most of the time they come out bloody and ready to latch just wrong enough to make one of the most sensitive parts of your body blistered and bloody.

I did better with Tula, and hope to do even better with the boys.  Two at one time - how hard could that be? (she says with incredible sarcasm)  (have I mentioned how FANTASTIC it is I have a mother who has only had twins???  to her this is no big deal.  to me, it's insane.)

32 weeks!  

Now I'm 32 weeks!  Which is really great news, because that means I can have the babies here in Bozeman!  If I had gone into labor before that I would have had to be flown to a bigger town because of the NICU or something.  All I heard was "32 weeks, blah blah blah" and then I zoned out and focused all my will on keeping these babies in because the last thing I need is to be in labor and on a helicopter.  Motion sickness  and labor is not a combo I want to experience.  That and being hundreds of miles away from home.  Oh and having preemies  Details!

Unfortunately, I let my guard down the day I hit 32 weeks and had an uncomfortable few hours of braxton hicks that scared the ever loving sh*t out of me.  Not today!  I kept screaming.  I have too much laundry to do!  And I haven't caught up on Downton Abbey yet!

So, I'm taking it very easy from here on out.  Mama needs to make it through Christmas dang it!

But first, Thanksgiving!

Addie's class put together a Thanksgiving feast for the parents.  Cue me sobbing into my turkey soup, and squeezing Addie so hard she told me I was sort of squishing her.

Josh took the girls on a Thanksgiving Day sled ride.

They could have gone all day!

We went to a wedding and the girls were a huge hit.

Tula somehow talked half the guests into showing her the pictures on their phone.  Girlfriend is persuasive.

My tiny photobomber!  She is so darling I can't stand that face!

Addie is doing magic on her snow mountain, in a summer dress, and a sweater I had to bribe her to wear.  "Elsa doesn't wear a sweater mom!"  Elsa doesn't do a lot of things!  When you can freeze the sweater from my hands we'll talk.

The second Thanksgiving dinner was done we put up the Christmas stuff.  And you can't tell from this picture, but my dad made a star for our tree like the one we had when we were kids.  It's red and green lights that alternate going back and forth and the circuit board is right on the front, exposed on purpose.  It sounds weird, but it is quite possibly the best gift I have ever, ever received.  My heart is bursting with childhood memories.

Just a few more weeks.  We can make it.  We WILL make it.  I don't have this stubborn Atha blood for no reason.  If it can't work to keep babies in your womb 'til the new year what good is it?!