36 Weeks!

So, I'm 36 weeks now.  The size of a baby whale.  Me, I mean.  I'm the size of a baby whale.  The baby is the size of a crenshaw melon.  For those of you that don't know, this is a crenshaw melon:

But also, when I googled 'crenshaw melon' this was one of the first pictures that came up.

Uh, ok.

I don't want any part of that photo to be in my belly. 

Or to represent what's in my belly.  

NONE OF THAT SHOULD HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH MINE OR ANYONE ELSE'S BELLY!

And what the heck is up with the frosting?  Clearly homeboy is stoned because he carved a melon thinking it was a pumpkin and he's eating strawberry frosting with his fingers.  Also, he's wearing a plastic lei.  

Anyway, this is what 36 weeks looks like!

And this is what it looks like with stretch marks!  I got one small stretch mark with Adeline the day I had her.  This time I peed on the stick and suddenly I had stretch marks

Everyone is asking me if I'm ready, like in a sympathetic way, "Are you ready?" and then they nod and look sad, and honestly if you'd asked me a month ago I would have said yes, get this baby out of me because my hormones are whacked out and I can't walk without a wheelchair.  But now my mood is a thousand times better (I no longer want to kill the man I live with for breathing too loud, instead his breathing is the cutest thing ever! That's the beauty of nature, making sure you love your partner before the baby comes so you don't have to handle rearing all on your own. From prison.), and thanks to physical therapy twice a week I can walk almost normally, and I'm no longer afraid my back will break if I sneeze.

Physical therapy is magic!  I honestly want to kiss my lady every time we're done, and it's not just because she's the only one who will massage my bare butt for a half hour.  Though it's mostly that.  It's because I can roll over in bed without crying now.  

Ah, the simple things.

Speaking of things, Josh came home with a new prize for Adeline last week and she is IN LOVE.

One of the first things she says when she wakes up is, "Turning?" because when she's on the bike, her dad pushes her around the house and narrates what she's doing, "Riding. . . riding. . . turning." So I think she thinks riding a bike is actually called "turning".  That'll be nice and confusing in a while.

Also, she's getting some long hair!  But only on the top, the back is still short and curly.  It's like a reverse mullet.  Which, lets be honest, is probably the second best kind of mullet.

This has nothing to do with anything, but I took her to Barnes and Noble to play yesterday (that's what you do when it's still snowing at the end of April.)  And somehow I managed to get a picture of exactly what Addie thinks the world is like right now.

She stands still and the whole world just spins around her.

Also, in her world, she's Godzilla and can destroy small mining towns in a single swoop.  And then continue to play choo-choo trains as if she hadn't just destroyed the entire play set in front of the disapproving store manager shaking his head at the pregnant mother taking photos of said destroyer instead of stopping her because pregnant mother needs to sit and enjoy her latte dangit!