You know what one of the downfalls of motherhood is? Mommybrain. That thing people talk about where you get pregnant, have a baby, and suddenly not only is your hoo-ha forever changed, but your brain has turned into a weird form of semi-functional mush.
Like, one moment I can simultaneously change a diaper, entertain my baby with a toy, turn on the light switch with my foot, all the while talking to my boss on the phone about a tax return I'm working on but five seconds later when I'm asked what's for dinner I cannot remember the word for "chicken". Like, I CANNOT REMEMBER IT. I can picture a chicken in my head, and I try to will that visual into existence in front of me like a hologram so that I don't have to strain harder to find the word "chicken" somewhere in my brain, that the person who is asking what's for dinner will just see the chicken hologram, not freak out, and go about their business, but of course that doesn't happen, so I'm just standing there slack-jawed, going, "Uhmm. . . that thing. You know, the common thing. It tastes like everything."
"Yes! Wait, let me write that down."
Anyway, I have mommybrain big time. I can't remember small things. We just took a walk with the Pork Chop and passed this little pond and I said, "Oh that's a cute . . . Look at that little. . ." and then I just stared at it all confused-like, and instead of pretending anymore that I'm not on the verge of dementia I said, "What is that thing called?"
"Yes! Look at that cute little dock."
It feels very weird to not know things all of a sudden. It feels like how I imagine the Flowers For Algernon guy felt when his smarts started wearing off.
But what feels even weirder is that at 5am this morning while I was feeding the little lady I could (for completely unknown reasons) recall every single lyric to Shania Twain's, You're Still The One song. EVERY. SINGLE. LYRIC. I haven't heard that song since I was 19 and I memorized it in hopes that my High School boyfriend and I would stand the test of time.
We didn't. We broke up shortly after I memorized her entire cannon.
But apparently Shania did.
I'm not sure why I can't remember important things instead, like the periodic table of elements, or what the hell a caucus is - no, me, I get Shania Twain.
It's going to be a weird few years.