18 Weeks!

I'm eighteen weeks preggo with twins right now. Which when I say out loud is really crazy, because that's pretty close to halfway, and that is that much closer to having four kids under four.

FOUR.

KIDS.

UNDER.

FOUR.

Auggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I'm gonna disclaimer this whole post with - of course I'm blessed and thrilled to be having kids, I am very lucky. I really am. And I love my girls more than anything and more than anything I ever thought I could love, however. . . Never in life did I think I'd have four kids under four. That's like something people do on TV. In the country. In 1876.

So, yeah. I'm terrified basically. But luckily I don't have time to be scared because second trimester hormones have taken over loud and strong! No more constant puking, instead I am a roller coaster of tremendous fun and insane downer-ish-ness.

The other day I giggled so hard at everything Josh asked me if I was stoned, which of course made me laugh harder and say, "I just love you so much!" Something he hasn't heard since we found out I was pregnant because you know what you love when you're throwing up all day for months on end? Nothing. NOTHING AT ALL.

Then yesterday I woke up all sad and depressed and called my friend who I knew was at work, just so I could leave her a message that vaguely went something crazy like this: "Hi, it's me, I know you're at work but I just miss you and wanted to hear your voice *sob* even if it was just on your voicemail *sob*  and now I see how pathetic that sounds!  Don't call me back, I'm fine.  I'm just having a breakdown.  But not really I'm just pregnant." And so on and so forth, insert lots of unintelligible cry-talking and some ill-advised advice giving on child bearing.

And then today, I cannot stop kissing my kids and the dog and anyone within five feet from me because I love everything.

So, things are fun up in here.  Pregnancy - it's like your own fun example of what having multiple personalities would be like!

18 weeks!

Napoleon Dynamite sigh because (luckily you can't really tell here) but my belly button is out of control.  One of Adeline's favorite things to do right now is lift of my shirt and say, "Lemme check that big ol' belly.  Is this the baby?!" while she pokes my belly button and then laughs hysterically.

Tell Him About The Twinkie

Three things Josh has said to me (in total seriousness) in the last twenty four hours which are making me question my decision to . . . lots of things with him.  Among them: bear children, and live with.

 "I really like the way short shorts look on my body."
He said putting on shorts shorter than I have ever worn.


"Mmmmm.  Mmmm hmmm.  So, good."
He mumbled (to himself) about the eggs he had just made himself.  This may not seem like such a crime, but like he was in love with the cooking he had done for himself, so much so that he would not stop talking to himself about how good it was.  Not in a way to be humorous, he didn't know I was listening in, but simply because he had astounded himself.


"I have never seen Ghostbusters."


That last one speaks for itself.  Who's never seen Ghostbusters?!  (probably my friend Alex, but that's because she's Romanian and has never seen anything but all the National Lampoon's Vacation movies, despite the fact she's been in the U.S. since she was 3 years old.)  Ghostbusters was only like one of the best movies of our time!  I'm still afraid Sigourney Weaver is going to be hovering above a bed when I walk into strange rooms.







Speaking of supernatural forces, Tula is turning out to be quite the little demon.

In a good way!

I seriously have never seen a happier baby in my life.  And she's always been that way.  She came out of the womb smiling.  It made waking up in the middle of the night with her so much easier because she was always happy to be awake, and she's just as happy now that she's 15 months old.  However, she's also discovered screaming.  And the word "no".  Her personality goes from ecstatic to screaming banshee in about .0789 seconds.  As much as she is gloriously thrilled to be alive, she can also be a total jackal if she can't have that piece of apple RIGHTTHISFINGSECOND!  Then as soon as you hand it to her, she's all smiles and sunshine again.

She's like a little traveling, two foot circus. (of terror).  Just kidding.  (of joy).  (and of screams).

And she's fantastic.

Man they kill me with their darlingness.

This is about two seconds before Tula screamed "No!" shoved Addie out of the way and started hauling ass toward the ravine.  A minute later Addie tackled her to the ground and they were both giggling again.  Chase and Crush is their new favorite game.

Happy because she just woke up.

Happy because she saw Mama was still here.  She turned away long enough to grab her blankie and was thrilled I had not vanished into thin air.

Happy she has a tongue.

Happy because the dog sneezed.

This one is blurry because it caught the exact moment she goes from happy to homicidal because I didn't pour her milk fast enough!

17 Weeks

I keep forgetting to take pictures because I"ve been so sick, I can really only remember to feed my kids (sometimes), but I have been  puke free for eleven whole days now!  ELEVEN!  It's like a Christmas miracle.  I don't mean to whine, but throwing up and being nauseous all day for about three months is really shitty.  You know that myth about pregnant women losing weight in the beginning?  It's not a myth people.  I could barely hold down a single bite of banana.  I have no right to complain, I'm pregnant, not on chemo, not suffering from some horrible disease, but still it was not fun, and I am so grateful to be (hopefully) out of the zone of morning sickness that every day is like a ray of sunshine!  I mean, it's summer, so it literally is all rays of sunshine, but still!  Yay no more puking!

Here's the baby bump at thirteen weeks:

How are there two of them in there?

Well, in the eleven days since I've not thrown up, I've also got my appetite back in full force.  I pretty much have to eat a double serving of everything and then again an hour later.  Good thing Josh was already used to me eating in bed because now at about 10pm I bolt out of bed and rush to make myself a bagel and cream cheese and a bowl of chips before I die of starvation.

It seems to be helping things grow in there.  17 weeks:

There they are!

Oh, hello belly button.  Please don't get any more sticky out-y or I will be forced to tape you down.

Oh, and I took the poll's advice and decided to grow my hair out.  It's a slow painful process, but in the meantime I also think I'm going to stop straightening it.  Ain't nobody got 30 minutes to do their hair everyday.  Who's gonna see me that I need to spend that much time on my hair?  My kids.  You know what they care about?  Cupcakes.  That's about it.

Oh, also Addie cares about looking like a princess.  All. The. Time.

Camping

We've been camping a few times this summer, which has been surprisingly awesome.  The girls love it and I love it so much I daydream about when we can do it again, not because I'm Mrs. NatureGirl.  Hardly.  But it's the one time our family spends three whole days together with no cell phones, no internet, no tv, no electronics at all - and we all end up having a blast.  (It's also the only time my loving partner can relax and not get all antsy, because you know what there is for him to fix around the house?  NOTHING.  Because we're not in a house.  Sure, he spends a weird amount of time gathering and reorganizing the fire wood situation (at one point I thought he might try to build us a log cabin) but otherwise I can actually see him taking a deep breath and letting his angst out and it is wonderful.)

So, for Addie's birthday we joined the sister and brother-in-law and their adorable baby for a camping trip by the river, and this is her happy face when we got her in the car and told her we were camping.

Sneakily excited because she knows she's about to get really, really dirty and sticky.  Somehow s'mores end up everywhere but in her mouth and like a week later I'll find melted marshmallow in my bra.

Tula does not wear clothes when we camp, she likes to get down with nature.  Except she still wears a diaper because homegirl will poop anywhere you're trying to stand.

This was our campsite.  So gorgeous!  However, I do not recommend camping by a river with a 15 month walker.  All she wanted to do was go headfirst into the water so there was never a second of peace.  There was one time where I took my eyes off her for 30 seconds to help set up the tent and when I looked up no one could find her and I swear to God I have never run or yelled so fast in my entire life.  I was like a drill sergeant yelling out orders, "Josh look behind those trees, Addie find your sister, Christina oh my god, Andy get in the water there, I'm jumping in here EVERYBODY MOVE RIGHT NOW BEFORE MY HEART EXPLODES!" I have never been so terrified in such a short amount of time.  Luckily right before I dove into the river in all my clothes Tula came strolling by us out of NOWHERE.  The girl might be a witch.

Taking a stroll together.  Melting hearts everywhere.

This is by far my favorite picture ever taken.  

Tula's about to eat that rock she's holding, Addie's disgusted things are taking so long as I am so happy to be out and practicing swinging my locks for my upcoming Pantene hair commercial aimed at pregnant, unshowered women everywhere.

Escapee.

Me and the birthday girl at 6am.  

What's a blog for if I can't post horrifying pictures of myself?

Tula relaxing with her dad.

The kids decided they had to sit on the raft the entire time Uncle Andy was trying to pump it up.  They're very helpful.

Headed right for the water.  *sigh*

So, we might have one or two more camping weekends this summer left in us, and I can't wait.  I will however be outfitting my children in full floating gear even if we camp in the desert.  You never know what Tula will find when left to her own devices.

Three Years Old

Three years ago today I gave birth to this teeny, tiny, gorgeous, skinny little baby who changed my life for the incredible!

You might not know us well enough to know this, but this was one of the best days we've ever had in our entire lives.  Those smiles are beams. This is about two hours after she was born and I could not stop smiling and hugging everyone and saying thank you to people passing by, because I mean, the joy. . . there's so much thanks to be given.  And gratefulness.  And happiness.  And sickly sweet everything.

Love.

So, anyway.  Today is Adeline's birthday, and just when you think things could not get cuter or better, they do, and just when you think you couldn't love them anymore, you do.  

Yes, sometimes you also want to sell them on the black market because they're literally making you pull your hair out and are pretty sure now you'll never get out of therapy, but is it worth it?  Yes.  

Because of morning and smiling faces like this: