Monday, June 6, 2011

28 weeks!

I am now officially in my third (and last) trimester.

The book told me it was my "third (and last)" trimester, which seemed a little weird since I went to High School, I know how many tri's are in a trimester (seven).

Not only that, but if I suddenly had three more trimesters left I think I'd be more of an elephant than a human. Don't they stay pregnant for like thirteen months? THAT'S CRAZY. Those poor elephant baby daddy's are sitting around like, "It's been a year and she's still asking me to run to the store to get plain donuts. PLAIN. So she can dip it in her cantelope. I'm a year older and she's still pregnant. This shit better be over soon. And that elephant baby better be mother f*&%ing cute."

(Elephants are notorious for talking like sailors.)

This is what I picture the daddy elephant to look like.

Sort of nervous and worriedly talking over his shoulder, afraid the mama elephant will hear him.

And so yes, maybe elephants don't eat donuts and melons, but that's only because they can't go to the store and buy them. But you know who can?!


And yes I ate the entire melon and donut as a snack. It was a plain donut which is exactly like eating a piece of dry whole wheat toast as far as me and Jack Bauer are concerned.

Anyway, I'm not an elephant so I only have twelve weeks left.


(That's a combo of excitement and totally freaked out)

The father of my baby doesn't seem fazed in the least. He's calm, cool and collected, walking around like nothing is about to rock our world into oblivion. Of course he doesn't feel the way this little girl gets the hiccups and then stretches out and kicks/punches me on both sides of my belly so that I look like I just swallowed a rectangle. She's already so full of energy she's wearing me out, and I know that, but because he doesn't get the rectangle treatment, he doesn't fully know what's about to hit him so he's free to go about his blissful day unaware. Lucky guy.

The book also told me she's got eyelashes now. EYELASHES. Oh my gosh that kills me. Teeny, tiny, adorable little eyelashes. *sigh* I can't wait to see them, and kiss them, and watch them open and close all small and lash-like! Aalsdfhalksdfj! Too. Much. Cute.

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