Thursday, January 28, 2016

I'm A Real Boy!

Well, I just turned the corner into the kitchen to find Henry repeatedly slapping Luke across the face with uncooked bacon while Tula sqautted naked over the heating vent to "warm up her pee-pee", and Adeline just stood by sucking her thumb watching the whole thing unfold while standing in the bucket of dirty water I'd left out after I mopped the floors, shaking her head like, "These kids are out of control."

Does anyone with more than one kid not walk into stuff like this? This is normal right? I mean, since winter hit my kids' Weirdo Levels have really shot through the roof. They are constantly finding new things to jump off of, and they can't stop themselves from doing things like putting on every single piece of clothing they own and walking around like puffy, tiny little Joeys in that one episode of Friends.

So, we got stuff figured out.

Luke thought the bacon smacking was hilarious especially after the dog got involved, so I let it continue until all the raw bacon had been eaten and the babies had been sufficiently licked clean. Less work for me.

Tula was schooled on the fact that her pee-pee was already warm enough and if she ever actually peed in anything not a toilet she'd be sold to the first gypsies I could find. The she smiled. A scary smile. There's pee somewhere in my house isn't there?

And Adeline was told that standing in dirty floor water was not the same as having a pedicure, despite the fact that she is still fairly sure I'm wrong.

I feel like that scene from Pinocchio where there are no rules or adults and the kids turn into smoking, alcoholic donkeys is not far off from my life. Not far at all.

Good thing they're so damn cute.

Hen. Rockin' the sock monkey hoodie.

The ladies using me as a jungle gym.

Luke is SUPER pumped about the museum!

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