Tuesday, November 22, 2011

14 Weeks!

Oh my god she's giggling!

Well technically she smiles HUGELY a lot and then occasionally giggles, the rest of the noises she makes are straight lion. Literally. Sometimes when I'm in the other room and she's hanging out with her dad all of a sudden I hear this *ROAR*, followed by her father's high-pitched squeals of delight and part of me thinks, "Oh my gosh that's f-ing precious!" and the other part of me thinks, "Shouldn't those noises be the other way around?" I guess they should be - if you like boring!

You know what else would be boring? If she wore the same outfit all day instead of galactically shooting poop into her clothes, and managing to get it unthinkable places. (Your shoulder, really? How did you poop on your shoulder!?)

"Guess where it's hiding this time!"

Or just nursing like a normal baby instead of nursing, and then mid-nurse looking up at me, smiling, and then sneezing into my boob whilst chomping down on it like it's made of brick and cannot be hurt thus sending me into a wail that causes her father to jump up and freak out because apparently my scream matched that of someone being murdered, all the while non-boring baby is smiling at the chaos she has created like a little sneaky sneak.

Or not peeing on mom right before bath time and then again right after! (Really?! You can't pee in the water like a normal person?)

"Chubby cheeks! Who care if you get peed on, I have CHUBBY MOTHER F*$&ING CHEEKS FOR YOU TO LOVE!"

Or staying put on her activity mat because she's three months old, instead of being totally stationary and then when mom leaves the room for a second to grab a donut (Oh Mah God - am eating crumb and powdered donuts like they'll give me every lasting life. Are so good. Want to take sexy bath in tub filled with crumb donuts.) somehow managing to be a good two feet away from her activity mat, with confused look on her face about how she got there, or how her hands got in her mouth. (Is very excited about hands being chewed on, but always looks baffled as to who put them there.)

I've come to realize there's absolutely nothing boring about having a baby. Even if you desperately want it to be boring, there's no way these little suckers will allow that. They've got things to spit up on, smiles to throw around willy nilly, screaming to be done, poop to be put in weird places, and cuddling to do.

Oh my gosh the cuddling. The cuddling so makes up for anything they'll ever do wrong.

(For now anyway)

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