Friday, August 21, 2015

That's Just How I Roll Now

Well, I just tried to shave my leg with a toothbrush. So that's how my day is going.

The scary part is I didn't realize it until I got to my bikini line. I was too busy yelling at my kids through the shower curtain to stop playing in the clogged up sink while toothbrush-shaving to notice that a) none of my hair was disappearing, and that b) my razor felt strangely bristly. Actually, the bristle didn't really faze me because Josh and I share a razor now that we have four kids and can never find anything, so I never know what I'm going to find in there.

Oh yeah, that's right. You heard me. He shaves his face with the same razor that shaves my vagina.

You're welcome for the visual!

Honestly, whatever. It's not like those two things haven't come in contact before. WE HAVE FOUR KIDS YA'LL.

Anyway, now that I've embarrassed my whole family. . .

After I realized what was happening, I threw the toothbrush over the curtain, heard it smash into the mirror and then forgot about it. When I remembered to go get it, I found it on my bed with all the other toothbrushes a la Tula, and now I don't know what to do. Throw away seven toothbrushes or just try to sniff them and throw away whichever one smells the most razor-y.

I'm not going to tell you what I did.

I'm just going to say we'll probably all survive.

I didn't hear anything for a few minutes and then I found them all playing together.
They were literally - ALL. PLAYING. TOGETHER.
For like, twenty whole minutes.
It was so amazing and cute, that it made me feel so good about the fact that my boobs are different floppy sizes. 
Real, floppy.
Real, different.


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