Monday, May 11, 2015

Molly's Granddaughter Through And Through

Having four tiny kids gives me a lot of free time to daydream maniacally.  Not like fun daydreaming that leads to creativity and epiphanies and the final completion of my Oscar acceptance speech (you're in there Mr. Cannon), there's no time for that; but crazed-lunatic-Jewish-grandmother type daydreaming.  I'll be nursing the boys on the couch and hear a loud thump followed by no sound and suddenly I've pictured Tula falling off the roof, landing on the back porch onto a kitten, then all my loved ones dying in a fiery car crash, and all of a sudden I'm crying and calling out for Tula to answer me damnit! meanwhile she's sitting right next to me watching The Gruffalo and now I'm pretty sure we have ghosts.

So, now when Josh gets home from work and I've had a fun afternoon of doing a million tasks I've done a million times so my brain has checked out into Ridiculous Territory, he'll walk in and I'll likely scream something like, "I'M NERVOUS ABOUT THE FUTURE!" and then start crying while I take a swing from coffee I'm hoping is only leftover from the morning and not some other morning.

So, yeah, I'm in a bit of a crisis about my future. My future in five years. Specifically my career.  In five years all my kids are going to be in school, and I am in pure panic about what I'm going to be doing with my life then.  I know it seems ridiculous, that five years is a long time, but it's not.  Five years is gonna go by fast. you know how I know? Because TEN years ago I was twenty-five and I thought I might want to be a doctor.  I started taking science classes (and acing them out of the mother f*&king park thank you very much).  But instead of doing that my heart and my vagina got together and decided I should devote myself to some really bad relationships instead.


Major fail. And I know they say men are usually the ones who think with their penises, but I have definitely made some horrible decisions because someone was a really good maker outer.  And to me, really good making out usually leads to me falling in love (I'm super easy) so thus the outcome of my heart and my vadge doing stupid things together like a weird Thelma and Louise. (My vagina is Louise, obviously)

(Luckily, sometimes when the team gets together they make good decisions, aka Josh.)

So, anyway, this time there is no danger of me falling in love with the wrong guy and ditching all life plans to be in love with him, which, as it turns out, is not actually a full time job, despite what rom-coms may make you believe.  I am a smart girl, like I previously stated, I at one time could name all the periodic table of elements in order and what they did, I know not to take rides from strangers, I'm pretty good at crossword puzzles, and I've read most of Anna Karenina, but when I was in my twenties and falling in love I literally lost all brain cells.  *sigh* So, cliche.


Like I was saying, there's no chance I'm suddenly going to be twenty again (thank God), and now the reality of 2020 coming at me like a fireball is starting to sink in and I need to figure it out.  You may not worry yourself to the point of sheer panic about what sort of career you'll want in five years, but then again you may not have my Bauba's blood - Queen Worrier (and simultaneously the person with the best sense of humor I've ever met).  Have you ever had a Jewish grandma?  The stereotypes are true people.  All she wanted to do was feed us, worry about us, and kiss us so hard she was just shy of leaving hickeys.

I have no ending to the post because I'm still worried.  If anyone has any strong thoughts on my future I'm willing to take suggestions.

I just asked Addie what she thought I should do for work and she said, "Make money." And then when I pressed for a little more she said, "Be Maleficent.  The good Maleficent with lipstick, not the mean one from the drawing movie."  So, according to her I should make money and be the Angelina Jolie Maleficent.

We're off to a good start.

It's like they're twins or something.

Twins who really like to help with chores.

Good moms put down the phone and catch their daughter falling off the table.
Great moms take a picture first.

Addie is getting really good at putting on lipstick.

Tula has stopped sleeping with her heels on, but now she wants shorts.  For the breeze.

The boys just discovered looking at each other.  They are so amused with each other its amazing!

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