Friday, June 1, 2012

Working Vacation

Sorry it's been like two weeks since I've posted, but it's not because I was being lazy, it's because I was in prison.

For murder.

Ok, no it's not, but you would have felt really bad if that's the reason I hadn't been blogging and you were all, "Gosh she's lazy" and your friend was all, "Actually she's in prison for murder", and you'd be all, "Oh my gosh, that is so not like her" and then your friend would be all, "Uh, have you ever seen her hungry? That bitch can get loco yo." And your friend would be right. I am not a happy person when I'm hungry. Luckily I figured that out at the end of my twenties so now I carry a purse just for food. That's right, you heard me. A purse. Just. For. Food. It also now doubles as my diaper bag because apparently my daughter has inherited my trait of hunger-murder-hysteria, so I need to feed her and myself on the hour every hour so that we both don't freak out and ruin lives. (And by "lives" I mean "life" as in her father's since he's the one who usually has to deal with the downpour of cray that results from hunger.) (Also, back a few sentences ago I tried to spell 'trait' with a 'g', like 'traight' - because babies make you stupid. Which is why I won't see a female doctor who has kids, because you guys, she's totally not as smart as she was when she went to medical school because babies suck out your brains through your boobs and then you're all confused and can't remember anything and I don't know about you but I don't want a doctor who doesn't know the difference between trait and traight.) (Ok, to be fair, I doubt many, if any, doctors confuse the spelling of trait. I'm sure it's perfectly safe to get operated on by a woman.) (Good luck.)

 What was I talking about?

 Oh yeah, so I haven't written in a while. That's because we have relocated! Temporarily! My boyfriend's brother just got married -

Yes, they wore those through the whole Catholic ceremony.  So did the priest.
(No he didn't)

So we flew out to California for the wedding and are staying her for a long visit, and it's hard to move your life for a buncha weeks at a time. So I'll get back to it, but for now, here's pictures!

First arrival to the island, she's already drunk.  And happy.

Now on the beach, and though it looks like she's foaming at the mouth, that's actually milk I poured all over her trying to get the sand out of her mouth because she loves eating sand.  And rocks.

Drinking again.  I think she has a problem.

Her and her dad getting ready to go on a hike.  Jack Bauer really is a great father.

Me and Adeline getting ready to hit up the wedding.  She was in the biggest, cutest tutu I've ever seen.  I'm holding it down in this picture so it doesn't try to engulf us both.  It was so huge it would often float up in the wind and hide all of my baby so that I didn't know if she was even still in the thing or if I was just holding a giant tuft of tutu.  It was adorable and scary all at the same time.  But mostly adorable.

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