Thursday, June 21, 2012


So Addie's daddy is gone for a few weeks so we're indulging in a lot of illegal gambling, hookers, and blow. You know, all the stuff he won't let us do at home.  Addie looooves hookers.

Well, fine, she just sort of likes them.

Anyway, her dad is gone and since she's changing every ding dong minute we decided to try to Skype today which was awesome for about three seconds, and then all shit hit the fan because she was like, "Oh my God Mom look it's Dad how fun!  Yay it's Dad! Dad's right WHATTHEFUCKWHYISDADALLFLATANDSTUCKINTHELAPTOP NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HELP HIM! WAIT, DON'T TOUCH HIM! HELP HIM! WAIT, DON'T TOUCH HIM! I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS!  WAIT, I HEAR MY DAD!  ACK IT'S STILL THE LAPTOP TALKING TO ME AND IT STOLE MY DAD!!!!!  MAKE IT STOP! I DON'T LIKE IT I DON'T LIKE IT MOM HELP ME!!!"

Girlfriend did not like it.

It was so sweet because she was so excited to see him and hear his voice but then her excitement crumbled into a pile of tears because her dad had been imprisoned in the laptop, and laptop-dad was making really scary eyes at us.  She clung to me and buried her head in my shoulder while her dad and I kept chatting and eventually she worked up the nerve to peek out over at him.  By the end of our talk she had released one of her death grips to suck her thumb, but the other hand was still firmly clutching a good chunk of my skin.  Poor little thing.  No wonder we don't have memories of being a baby, parent's just disappear  into tiny electronics? No thank you!  Pooping in the middle of a restaurant?  Not when I'm sober!  Rectal thermometers? No. No. No.  I don't want to remember anything before I turned 16.  That's the age I convinced myself no one was really waiting in my closet every night to possibly murder me.  Before that I lived a terrified life.

But that's a different post about overactive imaginations and how they should not ever mix with scary movies.  Ever.  Or even the Halloween episode of Facts of Life.  That shit still haunts me.

So, anyway - Adeline is changing up a storm.  I'll write more details about it later but for now here's a barrage of pictures of her from our last few weeks of island living!

Here's Dad getting ready to flee the island.

Bye, bye Daddy!

It was a long swim home.

In the meantime we enjoyed a lot of fun sandy time!  I'm not gonna say where I've been finding sand on this baby, but I will say - it's in her vagina.
(How does it get through the pants??)

Also, I gave myself a haircut.  Bangs in da house!

I love eating sand!

And playing on the playground!

Oh also, she's all about being held on my person in some way, therefore in order to get anything done, I have to have her in the Moby at all times.

Unless she's in the hiking backpack.  This is how I got the floors vacuumed the other day.

And then we Moby-ed again.

Yay girls!  It looks like five girls in this picture, but it's really seven!!!
(The other two ladies are preggo) (Next year is gonna be RIDICULOUS)

Yeah, then we spent a lot of time naked.  And covered in diaper cream.  

Aaaaahhhhh I want to squeeze that chubber little tushy!

And thus I end with pictures Adeline will surely be using in therapy as examples of why she is always being embarrassed by her mom.  And I don't care.  Because look at that naked baby.  That's freaking precious.

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