Friday, April 27, 2012

Snack Time

Do not judge me, but I just ate about ten of Addie's teething cookies.

That shit is delicious!

Uh Mom, did you just eat my cookies like a total thieving little theif?


Yes, but to be fair. . . it's snowing outside.  SNOWING.  And I'm not allowed to eat chocolate, the least you can do is share your cookies.  


Oh good point!  Yay teething cookies!  And as a side note, thanks for not freaking out too bad when I bit your nipple with my sharp little fangs this morning!


You're welcome!  Now, get out of my way, I want to see what those baby Puffs taste like.


Verdict: they taste delicious.  Baby food is really good y'all.  And when you're snowed in at the end of April you'll pretty much take your desserts where you can get 'em, ya heard?

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Vegan. Except That I Still Eat Meat.

So, Adeline spits up. A lot. I know you've heard it because I tell everyone. I tell friends, family, doctors, and strangers, and mainly that's just to apologize for when she does it on them. For some reason people who don't know you, do not think it's adorable when your eight month old pukes purple goo onto their new shoes. Haters.




I'll just eat my banana like a big girl then throw it up later on something you've had recently cleaned.  You're welcome!




Since it doesn't seem to bother her and she's not losing any weight our doctor was kinda like, "Eh, she'll grow out of it." And then right after her brushed it off she puked into a dixie cup she was playing with, and because she's a baby, she then shook the puke-filled dixie cup and suddenly time warped and everything went into slow motion because I knew what was about to happen, and I looked over at our doctor who took a second too long to figure out what was going to happen and suddenly we were both like, "Noooooooooooooooooooooo!" in a deep slow motion voice where your mouth opens and closes like seven times to get the no out, and then - ta da! Me and Adeline were covered in puke! Somehow our doctor managed to avoid the spray (cloak of invisibility?) but me? Oh, no. I got baby puke in places I didn't even know existed. Sometimes it shows up the way sand does in your crotch after you've gotten back from the beach and showered, but then later that night you go to the bathroom and half the oceanfront comes out of your underwear and you're like, "Where the hell did that come from!?"


A lady does not talk about such thing Mama.  Please control yourself at the races.



So anyway, this happened a few times at a few different doctor's visits before he was like, "Ok, we need to figure this shit out."  (Ok, he didn't say that.  But sometimes I wish he would talk like that.  It would make him the best doctor ever.) And we toyed with a bunch of different ideas, and I very much did not want to give her medication if I didn't have to and he agreed so what we decided was no dairy for two weeks to rule out a dairy allergy.

Seems simple enough.  Until you take into consideration I can't have dairy for two weeks because I still breastfeed.  This may not seem hard, until you start it and realize dairy is in everything!!!  So for a week and a half I've had no butter, no cheese, no chocolate, nothing made with butter, cheese, or chocolate, no ice cream, no cookies, and no happiness.

It's been a rough road, but it's worth it if it'll help keep regurgitated food out of my hair for a few hours at a time.  I'll let you know how it goes come Monday, that's when the two weeks is up, but rest assured I will be writing to you from a bathtub full of shredded cheese and ice cream, and I'm not leaving 'til I eat my way out of it!

Also, it's so warm and gorgeous here right now.  If it snows this weekend I can not be held responsible for murder.



Thumbs up Mama!  Spring rules!



I JUST ATE GRASS!



You don't need ice cream Mama, you have me.  Cute, precious, adorable, chubby cheeked little me.





Friday, April 20, 2012

Snaggletooth

Ok, I'm for real getting back on the blogging tip! Starting now!

So, I babysat yesterday for a ten month old. Which means I had a ten month old and an eight month old all day long, and also I DIDN'T DIE! Yay me!



Also, I now have so much more respect for my mom (who had two sets of twins)(TWO). Before I was all, "Pshh twins, what's the big deal, stop whining!" and now I'm all, "OHMYGOD they want to be held at the same time, they want to be fed at the same time, they want to be changed at the same time, and for unknown reasons they both want me to look them in the eye at the same time and I JUST CAN'T DO IT no matter how googly I make my eyes so I just keep going back and forth between their demanding (yet gorge) little baby eyes like a ping pong ball and can get them to stop shrieking for a second at a time in a weird symphony of baby yells so it's like - look, one cries, look, other cries, look, other cries, look, other, look, other, lookotherlookotherlooktoher galksdjfa;lsdjfo;sjdf!"

But it turned out to be fun. For Adeline and me. She's so used to having boring old me to entertain her that having a friend over was like the best thing ever. And then, glory be to all glories, I somehow managed to get them both to nap at the same time and I practically jumped out of my skin with happiness and self proudness with. . . myself. I sat down, poured a glass of wine* and whispered to myself, "Yes. Am amazing babysitter. Can handle anything! Am baby mother fucking whisperer!"

*(but did not drink it as it was only 1pm, and I was babysitting - I poured it just as a little reminder of what I deserved later that night) (then I spilled half the thing trying to pour it back in the bottle because I wasn't so sure my saran wrap would hold for the rest of the day) (slash I didn't trust myself)


And then the other little baby went home and we resumed our usual cuteness.



And toothbrushing.



She loves brushing her teeth.

Well, technically she loves chewing on it and puking on it. I really hope daddy remembers not to use that one.



So yeah, she has three teeth. Well, she either has three or she has two and one of them is just huge and stabby. Her new nickname is Snaggletooth.




She's the cutest little Snaggletooth ever! Even when she bites me and draws blood. BLOOD. Sometimes having a baby is more painful than having a baby. But worth it.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

My Baby Set To Music



They see me rollin', they hatin'.



Patrolin' they tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty.




Sorry I haven't written much lately because we've had a lot of visitors recently (well, that and I discovered The Walking Dead)(Which I can only watch during the day because it's too scary to watch at night - I'm already afraid of Addie now because she can get a little growly and starts clawing at me and I'm like, "Don't scratch me I don't want to turn into a walker!" I half expect to have to start bashing in zombie brains AT ANY MOMENT, and have established various escape routes in case my house gets attacked.)


Anyway, I'll get back to it soon. For now, please enjoy Adeline enjoying this super sour pickle.