Monday, October 31, 2011
We told her to work on her scary face and that's the best she could give us.
My sister found this little monster costume for her when she was here two months ago, and bought it because we call her our little monster. At the time I was like, "Oh my gosh, she's not gonna be big enough in two months to fit into that." Then two days ago I was talking to my sister on the phone and I was like, "I don't think she's gonna be big enough to fit into that." Then magically (witchcraft from Halloween?) I put it on her this morning and it TOTALLY FIT! My little baby fits into 3 month clothes now!!!
Cut to me spontaneously sobbing in the bathroom.
SHE'S GROWING UP SO FAST.
Ok, I can still palm her like a basketball, and she's only 11 weeks old, but still, pretty soon (if I have what's coming to me) she'll be stealing my makeup and lingerie and trying to convince me she never used the fake id, it was just for fun, then somehow I'll get talked into driving her to her friend's house where her boyfriend is secretly waiting to have an hour long make-out sesh with her precious little face, while I wait at home biding my time by reading her not-so-hidden journal and discover she'll have to be grounded until she's 30 but I can't tell her it's because of what I read in her journal because I'll respect her privacy, and because I want her to keep writing in it so I know what's going on, so instead I'll have to make something up like, "You're grounded for not finishing your homework" and she'll be all, "It's summer break.", and I'll be all, "Oh sure. Are you trying to tell me you finished every piece of homework assigned to you last year?", and she'll be all, "What?", and I'll be all, "That's what I thought! Now go to your room!" and then she'll go up there so as not to have to deal with me anymore, plus I'll forget that's where her laptop is, and she'd rather be all interneting with her other boyfriend anyway, and then I'll remember her computer is there, open the door and shout, "Turn that shit off!" and she'll be all, "Dollar!" and I'll have to put a dollar in the cursing jar again, and then she'll start crying and I'll ask why, and she'll explain about her two boyfriends dilemma (one is smart and funny in a Rushmore sort of way, the other is not so smart, but so smoking hot it ruins her brain when she's around him so conversation doesn't seem important with him) and we'll talk about it, and I'll guide her to the right choice (no boyfriend at all! join a nunnery!) (kidding, go with the hot guy, that rushmore guy is just gonna get more indie in college and if she's my daughter [which she is] she's gonna change her mind about 'her type' seven hundred times before she accidentally gets knocked up at 30 and winds up surprisingly with the love of her life she didn't even know she was looking for, and be totally thrilled because he's great, and her baby is great, great and just getting bigger by the second!)
Time goes by so fast.
Now, if you'll excuse me - I have to go hide all my makeup just in case.