Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Move Your Body

This is the main reason I'm putting Addie in dance lessons the second she shows interest.



So one day she can be in a Beyonce video!  Aim high!

Or so that one day she can be Beyonce.  A white, six foot two, gangly Addiyonce.



(P.S. I love that chubby little white kid.  Work it.)

Monday, May 14, 2012

Mother's Day

I hope everyone had a really great Mother's Day!

A quick shout out to my mom: Thanks for being such a great mom! Also, now that I'm a mom I want to apologize. You know, for my years 12-16. Give or take a decade. I love you!

Being a parent is so crazy because you suddenly realize what you thought was love before is really nothing. It's so tiny compared to what you feel for your babies. Even if they are puking, crying little monsters - you love them more than anything in the world. As my aunt puts it, "You've joined the I-would-kill-for-you club".

She makes love kinda scary.

But that's what it is. And then after realizing that I realized, "Oh my gosh, my mom loves me this much? Holy Cow! I should totally buy her more presents!"

 Anyway, yay moms!



And yay trees!  I'm gonna take this branch home with me.  YOU CAN'T STOP ME LOOK AT HOW CUTE MY CHEEKS ARE.



My mother's day was really great and fun, up until the point I roofied myself and then took the family to Target.  Nothing says I'm-a-good-mom like falling asleep in the soap aisle while my baby and her dad wait for me at the checkout.



Uh oh, Mom's passed out again.


The thing is, I don't like taking medications at all.  Aside from Advil I try to stay away from the stuff, but I've been super sick for about a week and I really wanted to enjoy the gorgeous day yesterday so I took some sort of allergy pill and washed it down with a celebratory mimosa and suddenly I'm stumbling around like I just snorted Vicodin mixed with Ambien.  My boyfriend was all, "What is going on with you?  Are you on heroin?"  I was seriously at a point where things started to get ridiculous. Like, I knew I couldn't handle myself and I really wanted it to stop but not matter how many M&M's I ate I couldn't stop the waves of sleepy.  I could never be a drug addict.  They don't make enough candy.





Don't worry Mom, you just keep napping in the sun, I'll throw the ball for the dog.  I got this.


Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Ahoy!

So, I found this eye patch Adeline got as a party favor and put it on and it made her laugh so much to see me all pirate-y that for a good ten minutes all I did was say "Arrrr!".  I stopped only because it was her bedtime, otherwise I could have Arrr-ed my way into the night.

(Your mom arrrr's into the night)

(hey-o)

My daughter, she thinks it's hysterical that her mother could possibly be missing an eye, or worse!, have a mangled, sunken spot where the eye used to be, but now has to be covered with a patch because occasionally you can hear the sea through the pirate eye spot.



Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Weaning

Warning: This post is boob-heavy.

Or boob-unheavy depending on how you look at it.

You know how I look at it?  I went from a C cup to an A cup over motherlovin' night!  As if it's not emotional enough to be weaning, you have to add on to it boobs so small they make my bras sad.



You know what's not sad?  Bike riding in the snow!  Bike riding in the snow is awesome!  
YAY MAKING THE MOST OF IT.


Adeline has sort of been weaning herself, she lets me know she's done by doing things like popping off my boob and staring at anyone and everything that moves thus leaving me exposed to neighbors, friends, grocery store clerks, whomever.  And when she's not making me the soon-to-be-infamous Bozeman Flasher, she's too busy clawing my stomach and chest as if it were silly putty to actually nurse or anything important like that.




No time for boobs mom, I got lounging to do!



Breastfeeding is hard and time consuming and sometimes super painful but now that I'm almost done with it I'm getting super sad that it's almost over.  It's like my tiny little baby isn't so tiny anymore, and while that is good because it means her cheeks are getting chubbier (better for chewing on), it's just one step closer to her being sixteen and embarrassed that I tried to get my groove on with the hot janitor while chaperoning her Junior Prom , even though I will sooooo be able to still get my booty shaking in da club.  Holla!  Ya heard.

Although I'll be doing it in one of her training bras from when she was eleven because apparently after you have a baby boobs just DISAPPEAR INTO NOTHINGNESS.

*sigh*

Good thing she's adorable.




I love driving my car in the bathroom!




Bathroom car time is the best time!