38 Weeks!

What!

I just told Josh this morning at 38 weeks and two days, I've never been this pregnant before.  That is weird.  Adeline was born two weeks early, so this time last pregnancy I had a baby.  Which is strrrrrange.

When I went to the doctor on Wednesday she told me I was 1 cm dilated and 80% effaced and that the head was so low she wasn't sure how I was walking.  Me either lady friend, me either.

But then she said, "Well, I don't think I'll see you next Wednesday based on this" and I was all WHAAAAAAAAT!?!?!?!  

I mean, I know it can happen at any time but her saying it made it seem real and super scary.  With Addie I wasn't scared because she came early so I wasn't even thinking about it.  This time every time I have to go to the bathroom I'm pretty sure the baby is going to fall out.  (haha as if it were that easy! if only!)  And I'm sort of embarrassed about this, but I came home and had a full meltdown.  Not because I don't want the baby to come, but because a baby is coming.  Does that make sense?  I'm very, very, very excited and happy about it, but it's still slightly terrifying.  Not the bringing her home part, that part I'm stoked about - it's just that, you know how they say you forget what labor was like? Well, NO YOU DON'T.  And I'm not scared of the pain or anything, I just know it's a hard thing to do.  And I have to do it.  AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT according to my doctor.

I mean, because she said that I'll probably go past my due date and be begging someone to reach up in there and yank the sucker out.  And after my Wednesday meltdown I've calmed down a lot.  And I've eaten a lot of red licorice, and red licorice helps everything.

If I could I'd have a red licorice dispenser in my car like from Wayne's World.  

Love.