Bath Time

So the other day I was taking a shower when Addie decided to peek in and see what was going on.  At first she was amused and threw various household items into the tub with me, but then she took a good look at me, realized something was different about her mom and screamed more terrified than I've ever seen her scream.

I get that reaction a lot when people see me in the shower.

Since I was the only one home, and girlfriend was seriously distraught, I picked her up right there and she cuddled with me in the shower, me getting soap into my eyes and trying not to yell so it wouldn't upset her even more, and her - fully clothed - getting drenched in the shower, but not caring because she needed a hug and she needed it right now.  How do you deny a baby comfort even though only one fourth of your legs is shaved?

You don't.

So, the little lady got to have her first, fully dressed shower, and I ruined a new pair of contacts by not being able to rinse conditioner out of my eye in a timely manner.

Once she calmed down I sat her down in the tub and finished my business.  She thought this was hysterical.  Wet pants mama!  I HAVE WET PANTS!  THE HILARITY!  And since she was already halfway there, when I was done I got out and filled the tub up for her, all the while, still forgetting to take her clothes off.  She was like a teeny, tiny never-nude.





Anyway, it was one of the weirdest shower experiences I've ever had.  And I have a cat who used to shower with me daily.  Maybe I should introduce them to group bath time.  Kitty and baby baths?  BEST. IDEA. I'VE. EVER. HAD. AS. A. PARENT.

I'll go get my rubber ducky.

I'll get the bubble bath.

Getting Good

So, there's a hair dryer, a bottle of soap, and about five pens laying on the floor right now in a wiccan-like circle.  I honestly came out of the bathroom a little freaked out like, "Who is practicing a spell in my living room and why is it so industrial?"  Turns out Adeline put them there like that.  They're her favorite toys right now.

Am I going to win mother-of-the-year for letting her play with appliances and soap?  Probably not.  But was she quiet for five minutes so I could check pinterest clean up, heck yes she was.

Also, in case you're thinking you can just come over to my house and use the bathroom with toilet paper -  think again.  Adeline has decided it's her duty to unroll and rip to shreds every single piece of toilet paper ever invented in a five mile radius.  Sometimes I peek out of the shower to make sure she's not ingesting the Comet I've yet to secure in a cabinet with baby locks (I know, I know, mother-of-the-year), and I'll see her by the toilet absolutely killing the toilet paper with the meanest face she can make.  I'm not sure what it ever did to her, but holy crap is it getting it.  Getting it good.


Speaking of getting it good:

Oh my god what did you think I was going to post?  A picture of Channing Tatum getting measured where it counts?  This isn't some slutty blog people, this is about my baby.

Man.

But, ok, since you mentioned it.

I'm not sure why but for some reason Adeline's dad refuses to take me to see Magic Mike.  No clue.

Ok, so I really am gonna start blogging regularly again.  For reals this time.  But right now it's 85 degrees in my house and I've gotta go stand my almost one year old in front of the fan so we can cool off a little.  (Oh yeah, almost one year old.  CRYING ALREADY)

Could this jumper make me any cuter? I mean, seriously.  This is the cutest fucking thing ever.

Addie, language.

Sorry, Mom.  But it's fucking darling.

Well, that's true.

We're not on the island anymore.  *sigh*  

I found someone's sucker on the floor and I think it's the funniest joke in the world to chew on it!  Germs?  Who cares, this is hysterical!

At Uncle Andy and Auntie Christina's wedding.

Earning her keep.