Playing Sofia

Sometimes having three siblings super close in age to you is rough. Mostly, it awesome. Adeline always has someone to play with, someone who follows her around, someone who lets her boss them around. But we all want a little one on one time now and again, and Adeline needs it.

She's always the one who gets pushed to the side if someone gets pushed to the side, because she's the oldest and she can do it herself. She can go to the bathroom alone, she can get dressed, she can draw, she can paint, she can read (memorize) books, she can work the iPad, she can do it all. And I actively have to remind myself she's only four years old. She's still a teeny tiny kid!

So, now we have a routine at night where after we put the other three to bed, Addie gets to play a game with me and/or her dad. All by herself.

And it is so joyus!

I didn't realize I needed it as much as she does. I miss her during the day. I don't miss Luke or Henry because they are all up in my biz all the time. And Tula. She's even more up in my biz, if that's possible. They demand attention. But Adeline will sit patiently and wait, for hours.

She is an amazing kid.

Right now she has two options: two rounds of Candyland, or something she calls, "Sofia". Candyland is self-explanatory and so fun.

Sofia, is a game she only plays with her dad. I didn't really understand what it was until I stumbled in on it last night. Basically she plays with her Sofia the First doll and Josh listens to her, and occasionally hands her things. All I saw was her going, "Ok, Dad. Now I want the green necklace." He hands it to her. A few minutes go by and she says, "Dad, now I need the pink one. No, that pink one."

It is hysterical! And also, he is so soft and patient with her I want to cry.

When we got in bed that night I said:

"So, 'playing Sofia' means you hand her the pieces of jewelry she asks for?"

"Yes. And then I watch her march Sofia around and position her on different pieces of furniture."

*near hysterical giggling* "Why don't you get a doll to play with?"

*dead serious* "That's not my roll."


I mean, that's a good dad right there.

Also, the other day we went to the mall and the Easter bunny was there and the kids BEGGED to see him. So I let them.

Addie would not get off his lap.

Tula would not get within 100 feet of him. That's why he's no where near her in this picture.

Luke, however, was overjoyed! Henry doesn't know why we won't let him down so he can tear all those gigantic fake flowers down.

Which he did five seconds after this picture.

So cute!

Note To Self

I am so not good at the typical "mom stuff" stuff. I don't keep a memory book for any of our kids. I put Addie's first lock of hair in a special holder, and now I can't find it. Last Easter I told Addie the Easter Bunny needed a bathroom break because I forgot to hide the eggs before she woke up. And then I told her Santa wasn't real.

Kidding.

But I keep thinking I'll remember everything cute they do and say and of course I don't. And I don't remember to write it down either, so I'm trying to get better at it.

For instance, right now, if Tula is talking about that black silhouette that the sun casts on the pavement she says, "Mom, is that my eye shadow?"

Luke is saying Mommy, Daddy, Addie and for Tula he says, "Doy!" It is beyond adorable. We'll be yelling, "Tula! Come here!" and Luke chimes in, "Doy! Doy!"

Henry says Mama, Dad, and Nah. As in, no. "Nah!"

And Addie can say everything, she is extremely well-spoken for a 4 year old, but sometimes things are so overwhelming she just can't stop talking about it. When Tula had an allergic reaction to Amoxicillin we were at the doctor's office every day for a week and one of those times Addie was with us and the doctor had to check Tula's nether regions because there were hives everywhere. EVERYWHERE.

So, she put on her gloves, and started checking, and Addie just happened to be in the line-of-vagina-sight and the look of horror on her face was so mighty, and so hysterical I wish I had been filming it.

Immediately she said, "MOM! I do not like looking at her vagina! Oh no. No. No. No. No. Is that what mine looks like inside?"

She was practically in tears for poor Tula and her totally normal vagina.

And then she talked about it every hour for about four days.

Ah, kids! They are so adorable!!!

She needs her goggles for the wolf petting.

No time for Daddy, she's got wolves to pet!

Luke has his sixth ear infection in six months. Such a bummer. It's ENT time.

So, I did something silly and let my friend talk me into running a St. Patty's day 10K. It turned out to be super fun, and I ran it faster than I've ever run before thanks to my friend C who sneakily paced me! Felt good to feel like a real person again, and not just someone's mom.

Plus you get a beer at the finish line! God bless the Irish!

My sister dyed her hair! 

She's so gorge.

Just a little stroll on a pretty day!

Henbo and Boris have a strong love affair going. 

Group Hug

Today while I was pushing all four kids in a cart through the Target parking lot a woman stopped her car and rolled down her window to talk to me. If this had happened in LA I might have braced myself to start cussing back. Or to defend myself for crossing the road so slowly with my heavy ass cart full of a shocking amount of kids under 5.

But not in Bozeman.

The woman stuck her head out and said, "Way to go Mom! You're doing a great job!"

And I just smiled and mouthed, "Thank you," because I was afraid I was going to start crying if I actually spoke.

"Really awesome! What a good mom you are!"

And then she drove away.

She didn't see me yell at my kids in the car for dumping an entire bag of Goldfish on the floor.

She didn't see me tell them they could wear slippers to the store because I couldn't find two matching shoes. Anywhere. For anyone. (WHERE DO ALL THE SHOES GO?!)

She didn't see that they were wearing two different slippers on each foot because we couldn't find matching slippers either.

She didn't see me laugh when they threatened each other with being thrown in the "Fart Room" if the other one didn't play kidnap the right way. Yeah, kidnap. That's their favorite game. And the Fart Room is where you go to be punished with farts. There's so much wrong with that whole scenario.

She didn't see me let Tula eat only yogurt for 2 days because she was so dang cute when she said, "I Tuwa. I eat dis yogurt, ok Mom? It's super duper yummy. You wike it much and much?"

Much and much, you guys! I mean - c'mon! Who can say no to that?!

But she also didn't see me reading to the kids for hours on the couch.

She didn't see me giving them a billion kisses, or telling them I love them a hundred times a day.

She didn't see me let Addie stay up a little past her bedtime because she really needed time to just talk, just breathe near me without her sister or brothers interrupting her.

She didn't see me checking on Tula every hour all night long for several nights when she had a super scary and severe allergic reaction to amoxicillin.

She didn't see me take all four kids to the park by myself because the sun was out and they needed it. And it was so glorious.

So, how did she know I was a good mom? How did she know I was doing a good job, or that my kids were actually thriving and not abused into behaving in the parking lot?

I don't know.

I don't know that she did. But she saw me, and I happened to be smiling at my kids and maybe she assumed. Or maybe she's had kids and she knows the struggle is real. She knows that sometimes moms just need to hear that they're not messing it all up. That even though they yelled too much one day, or are probably causing yogurt-induced malnutrition, or that they can't keep track of clothes - they are still doing a good job. They are still being a good mom.

You shouldn't have to have validation to continue fighting the good fight of motherhood, but gosh darn it if that woman didn't make me day. She made my week.

Stopping and rolling down her window to tell me I was doing a good job. That will stay with me for a long time. That will keep me going. That will make me be a better person today.

Words are so amazing and so powerful. She could have just driven away and had the thoughts to herself, but she said them and changed my day.

And in return I said nice things to people I saw at Target, at the post office, at the library.

And my kids saw me do that. That's the best part.

Addie actually asked me, "Why'd you talk to that lady?" And I said, "Because it's nice to be nice to other people." And she said, "I know that mom. You tell me that all the time." And then she walked up to a homeless woman sitting inside the library, out of the cold, and said, "I like your scarf," and walked away.

Good, little lady. I hope that radiates from you in ten years, and twenty, and thirty like it does now. I hope you are just as positive and wonderfully happy when you're old and gray.

I hope you stop playing kidnap soon, because that's starting to worry me.

But that's a different post for a different day.

Today I am happy to be a mom. I am happy to be part of the whole thing. I am happy to be a woman who is doing a good job. Most of the time. And you should be proud of yourself too. Because it's hard to do - be proud of yourself. It's really f*cking hard. There's always room for improvement and there's always something you can nitpick, but honestly - you are doing a great job.

And so am I.

And so are my kids.

Amen.

We have had some gorgeous days lately.

And some wild hair.

So thrilled to be allowed outside!

Sunshine! Heck yeah!

First haircut! Took of almost 5 inches!!!

Someone is super stoked to have her first board game! 

Because this month is about women.