1. At 38 weeks you will want to eat everything in your house, at every fast food restaurant within a 50 mile radius, everything in your neighbor's house and by then you'll be ready for lunch. I am so hungry I can't even keep up. And I loves me some eating. I'm accustomed to eating every two hours, it's what I do - but this is like every half hour. And it's like a full meal. And when we left dinner at the grandparents house only to have me beg to have my baby daddy stop at Taco Bell for a six pack of tacos and he won't do it THEN I WILL STAB SOMEONE.
It's crazy.
My sister and I (because we're doctors) decided it has to be that my body is making milk, because not only is there the hunger - but also Addie has, out of the blue, started to pretend to breastfeed over my clothes. Does she smell it? Is she having Nam-like flashbacks of babyhood? Whatever it is it's a little . . . strange, in a natural way. She does it and then looks at me all confused and amused like, "Why did I just do that? Mom, that's silly. Let's watch Elmo."
2. The other thing they don't tell you is that contractions feel like really bad menstrual cramps. I'm saying it here to remind myself. All the books and videos and stuff say it's a tightening, and your belly gets hard or something weird like that and that's total BS. Contractions feel like really horrible cramps ladies. And then even more terrible. And then like you're having the period of a dinosaur. And then it feels like a bowling ball is trying to push itself out of a dixie cup but you're not allowed to push because you're only 7 cm dilated and so instead you scream yourself hoarse and try to bite your partner and then you beg the nurse to tell the doctor that even though it's only been three minutes you're pretty sure you're at 12 cm and she's like, "That's not even medically possible" and you're like, "You're not medically possible!" and then finally the doctor gets her arm all up in there, like right up to her shoulder, and eventually a baby comes out and you bleed for six weeks.
And it's a total miracle!
It's gorgeous, and the most wonderful thing in the world!
But they don't tell you when it starts it feels like cramps, that was my point.
3. Also, they don't tell you you're allowed to wear only yoga pants if you want.
You are.
You're welcome.
On an unrelated note, we walked along the river this weekend in the rain. It was really lovely.
Holding hands so she won't keep slipping and falling down in the rainy grass. Also, because she loves her daddy.
Expressing concern about all the rain.
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