Perks of Pregnancy

Perk #1:

Check out these pants!

They're so comfortable I want to make out with them.

Way more comfortable than these pants:

These are supposed to be maternity pants but they're really just strangle your stomach pants. That elastic is so tight you could bungee jump from the empire state building with my waist if you wanted to.

Perk #2

This is going to sound a little gross, but my stomach is getting a little hairy. Or rather, I should say, hairier. I mean, we all have a little peach fuzz everywhere, but for some reason pregnancy - it is making me hairier. Not like monkey hairy, or even old-man-at-the-beach hairy (you know the ones I'm talking about) (Dad)

Just kidding, that's not my dad!

(P.S. Why is that guy pinching his own thigh?)

So, I'm not crazy hairy bellied, I just have slightly darker stomach hair than before. More noticeable. And let me tell you something: as a woman the last thing I want is thicker hair any place that's not my head. Turn my mane into one that resembles Eva Longoria's? Fine. Turn my stomach into a place that I actually considered trimming? Uh, no thank you!

It doesn't exactly scream attractive if your partner can make little hair swirls on your tummy while having a relaxing evening in front the fire. It more screams, "Hey, I've got a secret under my shirt, and it's not what's in my bra. It's lower, and it needs to be brushed."

Anyway, I'm exaggerating. A little. Pregnancy does weird things to your body. And if a thin layer of fur on my belly means this baby is healthy and growing and thriving, well then I'll take it. But you better believe I'm dressing that little sucker up as something horribly embarrassing for Halloween when they're nine. A baby orangutan maybe? We'll see. I've got nine years and four months to figure it out.