Let Me Eat Cake!

So, I'm not exaggerating when I say I have seven friends who have either just had a baby or are about to give birth any second.  It is a very baby time up in here right now, and it's hard on my brain when my sister calls and says she's going to Vegas for the weekend on a whim.  Like, what?  Who's gonna watch the?  What about all the?  WHAT?  I WANT TO GO TO THERE.

I honestly don't know what it's like to think of myself first anymore, and while I always thought this would make me feel like Ghandi, or someone else inherently nice and bald, it doesn't.  I mostly just feel hungry.

Oh, and in love with my kids.

But also very hungry.

And you know what it's like to be a hungry woman?  It's like flipping a switch inside you where a giant, hairy alligator rips off your face to reveal his angry, hairy alligator face underneath and snarls a jet-engine's volume roar at anyone who dares to say hi to him just long enough to stun them with fear before eating them alive, and then starts crying hysterically because his alligator face-hair doesn't look right.

Well, that's what it's like for me anyway.

So, I made a change recently, where I eat all the time, like ALL the time, and guess what?  I'm so much happier!

Let it be known, I was not on a diet before, but just wasn't paying attention to when I ate because of the two little alligators constantly begging for me to mother them, and now I'm like, "Oooohhhhhhh, my body needs food to work!  I should be a scientist!"  And everyone is different, but I need to eat every two hours, like a baby.  Or people are gonna die.

The new system is amazing.  I'm not looking forward to bathing suit season, but I don't really care at all because I'm nice and full and that's like being drugged!  The thighs are coming out people, because I just ate four pieces of peanut butter toast and I LOVE EVERYONE!

Also (I'm getting back to where I started I promise!), when I'm not hungry, I can think about things.  And mostly remember to do things I said I was going to do.  One of which is participate in a friend's baby shower montage.  She wanted people to send in selfies where we held up words of advice on having three kids.  I don't have three kids, but I was part of three so I tried the best I could.

Also, Tula was all beatnik this weekend.

She made us listen to her bongo poetry and then snap in appreciation.

Gorgeous ladies making me laugh at breakfast.

Addie and I got some alone time this weekend!  It was so fun.  While we were walking down the mall she said, "Mom, you're my good friend."  Cut to me immediately sobbing and her freaking out because I was crying.  

I want to sew her onto me like a human tattoo so I can carry her everywhere.

Too much?