Oh, Whoops, Am I Late?

**creeps into the back of the class hoping not to be noticed, backpack gets stuck on the doorknob, struggles with ridiculously grabby doorknob, frees herself and tries to continue sneak-in, gets flung backwards onto rear end, pretty sure doorknob has claws that have ensnared backpack just to show off evil magicness, has full on brawl with doorknob until finally backpack comes free and both go flying into the aisle, knocking over several chairs and accidentally hitting the kid in the wheelchair because, of course hits the kid in the wheelchair, couldn't have hit the kid who's mean to everyone, nooooo, that would be too easy and serves-you-right-y, now has disrupted class, hit the disabled, and did not even accomplish main goal of sneaking into class, so slowly says, "Sooooooooo sorry about that."**

That's how I feel right now about not blogging in so long.

Sooooooo sorry about that!

Is this even the right class?

Anyway, I'll just jump right back in and assure everyone I will be posting regularly again because, as my therapist is fond of telling me, "If you say you're gonna do something you should do it, otherwise you'll just spend a whole lot more time sitting in front of me."

He's very bossy.

So!  The holidays!  I hope everyone had some good ones!  I had the wonderful luck to be able to go home to California for two weeks, which was amazing, (thank you 80 degree Christmas, don't mind if I do!) but with the total unluckyness of having decided to drive the 20 hours with a 2 year old and a 7 month old.

Yeah.  20 hours in the car with a 2 year old and a 7 month old.  You just let that little gem sink in.

It actually went really well.  Shockingly well.  I'm pretty sure that was karma getting me back for when I paid for the guy's latte behind me in the drive-thru at Starbucks.  You're welcome universe!

Then New Years.  I don't know what you all did for New Year's Eve, but if you didn't spend a good part of the night explaining what queefing meant to your mother-in-law then it probably wasn't as fun as mine.  

Other things I was asked to define:

Dental dams and bukkake.

Thank you Cards Against Humanity, for making my family that much closer.

Ok, well I'm gonna make the rest of this picture heavy to catch you up on the girls faces.  Their smushy, gushy, cute, freaking faces that I want to eat off with ranch dressing!!!

Oh yeah, Halloween happened! Addie looked like this.

Tula went as a robot.  I mean.  Shut the front door.

Then Tula had to have a wardrobe change because she puked on her other costume.

They were very skeptical of each other.

My mom asked if Josh was a cowboy.  Uh, I don't know what sort of wild west you heard about mom, but as far as I know cowboys didn't wear polyester or afros. 

(Clearly I went as a 70's camp counselor.  CLEARLY.)

.

Bubble baths are an every day occurrence around these parts.  Lucky lady.  When I was little if we wanted bubbles we had to blow into the water and then look up really quickly before they all popped and became normal peed-in bathwater again.

You get that chubby face in my mouth right now!

Becky and El took us to a Clippers game where you could order food from people who walk right up to you and then they bring it to your seat!   The lady was like, "Can I get you something?" And I looked around and was like, "Oh, I'm not famous." and she was like, "Yeah, I can still take your order." and I was like, "Ok, I'll have. . . chicken fingers?" and she was like, "Ok." and I was like, "Really?  I'm really not famous, I promise." and she was like, "Yeah, I know.  I'll be right back." and I was like, "Ok, but just out of curiosity, who did you think I was?"

December 15th.  I mean, that's not even fair.  I was hot.  And Tula was so in love with being outside, she pretty much smiled like that the whole trip.

Not Halloween, but Christmas.  Addie decided she wanted to be dressed as a piggy all day long.  Cutest thing evar.

Drunk pilot

]

I love Shahs of Sunset.

Meanwhile back in Montana I went for a run in 4 degree weather and neither my hair, nor Boris was happy about it.  

Also, that angle makes it look like I'm in a fun house.  I have a normal sized door people, I promise.

Addie was so in love with the sand and the beach, it was seriously one of the coolest things ever to witness. 

The blurry sunset I took while running at my mom's.

And then sometimes, when living with your family of four in one tiny bedroom for two weeks starts to get to you the only thing to do is drink your wine through a red vine.  Because I'm classy.