We have had the weirdest weather (along with the rest of the country) but it's been super nice for me because I'm not what you would call "savvy" when it comes to driving in the snow. I tend to wind up straddling the median, or crying in a ditch somewhere so I was sort of grateful for the warmth. My boyfriend actually saved the message I left him the first time I tried to drive (a stick shift!) in the icy snow, because it induced such laughter in him, and anyone in a five feet radius that he wanted to listen to it seven hundreds times. It went something like this:
"Hi. It's me. **mannish voice kicks in due to uncontrollable sobbing** I'M ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. *sobbing* EVERYTHING IS FINE. *more manly sobbing* Your mom is coming. *switch to upbeat voice, as is like my body takes over when I'm on a phone call and I have to end it like I'm a teenager who just got hired at Bath and Body Works and is so excited about myfirstrealjobohmahgosh* Ok, call me Byeeeee!"
I'm on the side of the road? What does that even mean? Not once did I mention that I was stuck in a ditch, or that I spun off a major road into oncoming traffic and then ultimately down into farmland. Nor did I mention that because I had the dog with me none of the kind citizens, firemen included, who stopped to help me could actually help me because said dog was all riled up due to my crying and therefore wanted to try to kill anyone who got close to the car. No, I do the girl thing and cry while denying there's anything wrong. LIKE A TOTAL CRAY-CRAY.
Anyway, to celebrate winter someone has decided to start sitting in her bumbo like an adorable little darling.
I mean, shut up with that nonsense!
Cute. Town. U.S. Motherf*&%ingA.
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