Happy Monday

It's snowing like crazy again and I'm sick, which makes me want to cry all day because pregnant + sick + no medications = sad mama.

But then this little sucker comes over to me with this little smile and my world is good again.

I mean, c'mon.

Snow Days

I know I've said this before, but driving in the snow is the scariest thing in the world to me.

Lucky for me it snows here nine months a year.

Even luckier, my car is not a Jetson car.

I hope you're picking up on my sarcasm here, because I'm laying it on pretty thick.

Anyway, it snowed buckets yesterday.  And I drove a lot.  And everything was totally cool.  Until two cars hit a school bus right in front of me.  Everyone was ok, the hit in such slow motion it was more like a nudge, but it still scared the crap out of me.

I guess I can't complain, LA drivers are way worse in totally perfect conditions than Bozeman drivers in apocalypse-type conditions on a daily basis. Conclusion: Everyone in California is stoned at all times.

(according to my faux-father-in-law anyway)

Bonus conclusion: I've lived in Bozeman long enough now to know there are probably more stoned people here per capita than there are in LA.

Double bonus conclusion: Most people here are super friendly.

Triple bonus conclusion: I love Reese's peanut butter christmas trees.  That has nothing to do with it, except that I'm pregnant and hungry.

17 weeks!  

Why's it so pointy?  It's like I'm gonna give birth to a spaceship.

The really good thing about all the snow yesterday is that this morning was GORGEOUS.  I mean, just ding-dong beautiful.  

Unfortunately, it was too cold for me to get really good shots this morning, but here's a small example of what it was like at the park a block from our house.

Adeline's in that stroller fogging it up and chatting to herself about snow and balls.  Not snowballs.  Two separate thing.  She's very specific.

Morning Sickness

I didn't write about my first trimester last time because I started the blog well into my second trimester and didn't like to recall such things.

This time around was no different, however, I feel like I need to address it a little to let others know they're not alone.  Also, as my sister puts it, to warn others.  "Warn" is a harsh word, Becky is very dramatic.  Although Josh did say the first trimester this time was "horrible" and that he was "miserable" and "never wanted to do this again".  And then we broke up because I was throwing too many pots and pans at his head due to the fact that I was actually the one going through all the sickness not him.

Kidding.  We did not break up.  But, to be fair we could have.  What with all the pots and pans throwing and all.

Not everyone gets morning/all day sickness, and those people are very lucky.  I was not so lucky.  Right about five and a half weeks it hit, and it hit me with a sledgehammer.  Nausea and exhaustion so bad I could barely eat anything, which is the horrible part of it because you need to eat so you're not so sick but you can't eat because you're so sick and suddenly you're puking in your car on the way home from swim class in the McDonald's drive-thru.

Luckily a prescription for Zofran took the edge off for a little while, but even then after a few weeks it didn't really work and I was back to puking in my car in various drive-thru's.

And then, just when I thought I wasn't going to make it, and Josh thought he wasn't going to make it (because honestly, dealing with a puking lunatic for two months isn't so fun), the clouds parted and the placenta took over the hormone making, and TA-DA!  NORMAL HUMAN AGAIN!

And now I'm starting to forget those months (joys of pregnancy brain) and suddenly I start thinking, "Hey that wasn't so bad!  We should definitely have a third!  And a fourth!  AND SEVEN HUNDRED MORE BABIES!"

Which is why I'm writing this.  To remind myself it wasn't all daisies and popcorn, it was pretty sucky in the beginning.   But that doesn't mean it isn't all worth it.  Because it is.

Oh my gosh it so is.

Worth it.

Worth it.

Even worth it in a hammock.

Reading Time!

In this video Adeline teaches us all how to properly read a book!

Complete with commentary!




(If for some reason it doesn't load, just click on the youtube button at the bottom of the video and you can see it there!)

Breaking Back

I just sent out a questionable email to all the mom's involved in my mom's group that involved the words "light porn".  Most of them don't know me, so I'm sure that'll go over well.

In other news, I've made great strides in maturing now that I'm going to be a mother of two!

*clonka;lskdjrfopiasdjfoi*

Sorry.  That was my head hitting the desk as I fainted to the floor.  Mother of two?!  Shut the fuck door.

You might as well tell me I'm in my mid-thirties now.

*splatlake';kdsahjoie*

Mid-thirties.  Try just barely grazing three decades.  Like, yeah, I'm here, but I just have my toes dipped in, ok.  I'm like wading in the shallow end or the tri's.  Good thing I have the body of a just barely thirty year old, and the mind of a twelve year old.  Boy. Or I'd be real sad right about now.

Don't be sad, I'm too cute.

Well, by body of a thirty year old I mean ninety.  I threw my back out this weekend and could not stand up straight.  Like could not even if you paid me too.  I always thought people with back problems were big babies, turns out - I owe a lot of people a lot of apologies. And possibly some small children.  My friend who wore a neck brace though on the first day of eighth grade? She does not get an apology.  She was clearly just trying to get attention, I don't care how hard that car hit her.

The good news is I can take muscle relaxers!  The bad news, I can't take them because I'm too scared to.  In High School I secretly wished I was cool enough to have a drug problem, but I was too afraid I'd be the girl who tried uppers and then died in gym class from skipping rope too hard.  There's no use trying to start a drug habit if you're just gonna die a week later.  That so wouldn't be worth it.

I couldn't even take the Vicodin they gave me after I had my wisdom teeth pulled because I was afraid I'd become addicted and start snorting it and then I'd never be able to score over a 900 on my SATs I had to take the next week, even though the idea of being a drug-addled teen was exciting in a I-could-go-on-Oprah-and-tell-my-story-to-the-world-about-how-I-recovered-with-the-help-of-Jesus-and-smokes-because-people-in-rehab-are-always-smoking-and-what-is-that-about-I-mean-it's-rehab-people!-smoking-kills-more-people-a-year-than-anything-else-or-maybe-that's-heart-disease-but-I'll-bet-Oprah-could-clear-it-up-during-our-interview sort of a way, I just couldn't do it.  That, and Vicodin makes me puke.  Good thing I didn't really know about wine back then or I probably would have been pregnant waaaaaay earlier than my 30s.

But then I wouldn't have this little chubby chub!

(Addie's reorganizing and I'm apparently taking a kneeling nap)

On an unrelated note it's Christmas-y here!  Yay!  

Anyway, my Mom is gonna be really proud about this post.  And I don't say that facetiously.  I say it because she knew I had a wanderlust for wishing I was a little darker than I actually ever had the guts or (lackof)brains to be, and she steered me clear of all that daydreaming and right into the proud woman I am today. Thanks Mom.  I could have been on Oprah.

Some kids dream of being an astronaut and some kids dream of being in rehab.  Don't judge.  I turned out just fine and I'm pretty sure some of the astronaut kids are in jail right now.  I've never even had a cavity.

Big News!

So it's been a month apparently since the Halloween preview.  I'm not really sure how that happened since I still have Halloween candy left.  Apparently in Bozeman kids don't trick or treat door to door, the go to the mall, or downtown shops.  It sort of means they're all going to grow up without a real childhood but hey, that's their choice.  GROW UP BEFORE YOUR TIME KIDS DOING WEIRD THINGS ON TRADITIONAL HOLIDAYS.  I bet Santa just walks in the front door here too.  No need to slide down the chimney, no one in Bozeman locks their doors.  Except me.  'Cause I was raised in LA yo.  Rapists are everywhere.  And they're coming on Christmas.

Downtown Halloween was super cute though.  Just hoards of kids dressed up, and then there was this girl.  She was the cutest.

Unfortunately she didn't keep the hood on very much so she ended up just looking like a bar maid from Medieval times.  The era, not the restaurant.

So, the real reason I haven't written in a while is because Adeline took up with the rodeo. 

Fine.  She didn't.  But girlfriend did try to ride the dog once.  It didn't go well.

Ok, the real reason - I'll give it to you in a list of little joys and see if you can figure it out:

Eczema, hemorrhoids, weird acne in weird places, endless puking, unable to cool off even in 20 degree weather, sore skin, gas, breasts of a greek goddess, butt the size of a picnic table (according to my loving partner), endless hunger, inability to watch The Voice without sobbing uncontrollably, inability to watch Ellen without sobbing uncontrollably, inability to watch anything without sobbing uncontrollably,  belly button about to leap off my body and start a life of it's own.

Give up?

Here.  I'll give you another hint.

Yay!  I'm pregnant!  Again!

In that picture I am about two days pregnant.  Apparently you show waaaaaaaay earlier the second time.

So, we're totally excited.  Luckily we captured the joy on Adeline's face when we told her she was going to be a big sister.

Honestly, you're gonna wanna scroll to the bottom if you don't want a lot of cheese right now, but we are so in love with this little lady, she is so funny, and cute, and adorable, and has a little fireball of a personality that I'm sure I will rue when she's a teenager, but she's not right now.  Right now she's a little one year old fireball, and that. is. awesome.  I know kids aren't for everyone, but I feel so lucky, and so amazingly blessed that kids are for us.  For me and for Josh.  Because most of the time we sit around at night having dance parties and laughing and reading stories and mopping the floor (girlfriend loves to mop the floor, don't ask me why, i hate it), and there's nothing we'd rather be doing.  

Unless it rhymes with Ryan Gosling.  Then we'd think about it.

Anyway, my point is - we love her and being a family.  And she loves other kids.  Loves them.  And I am so happy, and grateful that she gets to have a sibling, because my brother and sister are the best things ever. I mean, if nothing else, they're the only people in the world you can call and say, "Oh my god, do you know what your mother/father did?"  And trust me, my kids are gonna need somebody to talk to about us.

Oh Mama don't be sil. . . . No, that's totally true.  

Wait, big sister?  That mean I have to share?  Hold up.

Anyway, to celebrate news of the new baby we got hit with a snowstorm!

She loved it until she ate it face first in the snow, and then she hated it.  Oh my god she looked just like the kid in A Christmas Story though.  Love. Love. Love.

Also, she's taking up reading.  And she's very serious about it.

Where's my new Tom Clancy book ya'll?

And the paper.  She loves the paper.  

Best.  Picture.  Ever.

Halloween Preview

This past weekend Adeline's dad and I went to a Halloween party thing, and got dressed up.  My smartest parenting move thus far was letting her watch us get ready so we didn't scare the ever-loving snot out of her once she saw us all wigged and make-uped and whatnot.

It still did not help a lot in regards to how she felt about her father's wolf costume.

Oh my gosh I wish that picture hadn't gotten cut off, but even still the look on her face - hahahahaha!  So.  Not.  Ok.  With.  Dad.

She gave a very similar look to my friend Beth while we were in Catalina over the summer.  

Hahahaha.  Oh my gosh the joy that picture brings me will never end.  IT WILL NEVER END.

To be all Halloween-y we went to a pumpkin patch where Adeline was not happy with the pumpkin selections.

Shortly after this she pooped so bad the ONE TIME I didn't have any wipes left and I was seconds away from using stray pumpkins to wipe her with before a friend came to my rescue.  Unfortunately, I was still changing her diaper in a pumpkin patch and she ended up with so much hay stuck to her little butt it looked like I was preforming some sort of medieval ritual on her backside.  There was so much hay I found some in my underwear later that night.

The farm boasted a lot about a hay maze, and I was all excited picturing the labyrinth from the movie, The Labyrinth   What?  You haven't seen it?!  This conversation is over until you get a copy of it and watch the magic that is David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly.

                              


Unfortunately, this was not a maze with talking muppets.  It looked like this.

A few hay bales for which to trap my daughter with.  She was not happy about it.

When we got home I changed her clothes and sat her on the sink, because I prefer a life of danger.  Also, if I'm brushing my teeth or doing anything that involves the counter girlfriend loses her sh*t until I pick her up and let her dance with trouble five feet off the ground.  So, for the two seconds I couldn't see while I was taking out my contacts my little lady got herself in this here position:

Sink bath!  She got in there and turned the water on herself and has never been happier in her life!  She played in there for like a half an hour. I'm sure it wasted a lot of water, but it was so dang cute I could not bring myself to lecture her on water shortages or mommy and daddy's budget.

Then she had a cuddle sesh with the Dog.  Her new bff.  Well, she's not his bff, but he's hers.  You know how these things work.  She'll wear him down though.  Girlfriend is determined to make him love her.